Revealed in the moonlit twilight of the soul's indignation.
Remniscence of bliss. Happiness. Soul to Soul confirmation.
The Charcoal of my Soul's fingers like cinders mark themselves upon the wall.
Bitterment, Content. The White chalky residue of my innocence, mixed.
I can't keep secrets from you. It's all written on the wall.
My stapled Heart. Broken. Contrite. Shreds. Oozing in the Predicament of the Eminent End. Pumping my fluidity of words onto the paper. Mesmerized.
I see a blue Fusion of my veins rearranged in colors red. Crimson. Oxygenated--I see that I am tainted.
Duality of mind and art, torn between reality, art. Collapsed. Breakdown. Melting. Forming some extended hyperbole: I am smaller than everything, everyone, yet somehow greater than I'm meant to be...could I be?
I remain human. Confusion of my own thoughts of despair and want for something more. I can't take them back. Mistakes. I can't mend the broken mends I mended break. And so I stand, hammer and nail. An eye for tooth and tooth for eye and what is the sale?
A wall. Written with my soul. Charcoal. Chalky white. Red. Charcoal. Ashes Ashes of the Dead. No secrets.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This was set out in such an interesting way. I liked the visuals you provided here. Well done. Best to you in the contest
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I missed your poetry so much, Im glad Im back here and able to read your art. Its lovely, eloquently detailed, and vivid- so very vivid. the metaphor of your past events as charcoal on your soul and the residue your socialized responses, your conditioned reactions- LOVELY idea, its been done before, but you have done it well. You admit your humanity, and yet there is something divine amidst the whole piece. Excellent job and well done!
**edit**
IT seems I already commented on this thing, but I unfortunately forgot, and was able to read this excellent piece
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you have such a fantastic way with words, how you can compose sentences and just.. one wants to read more and more. i deny not my envy. i rather enjoy reading, so fluid like water.. the images you conjure kinda tug at the heart a bit, and the mind. jumping, you know. the last line, "No secrets." the soul is such an interesting thing and with the heart combined?
wonderous.
"remain human. Confusion of my own thoughts of despair and want for something more. I can't take them back. Mistakes. I can't mend the broken mends I mended break. "
to err is human. a lot of what you write explains perfectly what i feel inside, like you take what my fingers stumble to say and phrase it more perfect than i could dream. write my epitah, please. and i don't say this just to flatter you. :/ i've neglected ap for a bit and i'm glad i came back.
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nakedadam.net
check out my recent songs for my upcoming cd! -
Period Piece
I love your style. The terse language and rapid fire use of periods put a point on these phrases that in other pens might come across as pompous. Here they ring with new meaning. I think you go for the paradoxical with a sixth sense and almost always hit the mark, though sometimes, as great artists do, you push the envelope to bursting. I'm adding you as a favorite because this one knocked my eye teeth out! Aloha!
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The chalk and charcoal images were if nothing else well planned or at least well positioned. I like the play of duality you did there, consciously or otherwise. well done.
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Amazing
This piece is absolutely awe inspiring to me. I loved it... I mean, you've honestly rendered me speechless with this. I don't know what to say... I've been off and on of allpoetry for the past 3 years and I honestly have to say this is one of the best pieces I have read from this site. Thank you so much for posting this astonishing write and thank you tremendously for this source of inspiration.
Your words are so fluid and lively. I couldn't believe what I was reading whil reading this but thank you for posting this once again... I mean, you've really shown me something to look for in other writers. In fact, if you don't mind, I'm going to put you on my favorite list. Well done... Very well done
Alex
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Thanks so much. I am quite flattered by your comment. Any feedback I get is most welcome. I hope to return you the favor soon. Thanks again for taking the time to read and to comment.
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