Love is a fool’s game,
My delicate heart was broken by a girl’s name.
I did not want to fall in love again,
I asked her to take my hand,
She took my life instead.
So I took a vow not to fall in love again.
I closed the door of my heart,
I became the loneliest person on this wide earth.
Hating her became my passion,
Jealousy replaced my compassion.
Then suddenly I realise the power of love,
and open the door of my heart.
Finally I fall in an imagery love.
I hold her hand and walked beside the Eiffel tower,
We ride horses side by side in the English countryside.
It is foolishness as my love is not in reality,
Still I become a fool and I rush in,
because I can’t help falling in love again.
Author notes
“Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley
A contest entry
- Musically Inspired by poetsruletheworld.
1800 points, ended June 27, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Every Rose has it's Thorn...... by ur worse nightmare.
450 points, ended September 1, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write me a poem about your FAVORITE SONG!! PW allowed, ANY TYPE OF POEM and song is allowed by The Falls Sun.
400 points, ended June 7, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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rules
please look over the rules of my contest again, you have overlooked some -
I wanted to check out some more of your work and I'm so glad I decided to read this one. I enjoyed it very much. Cathy
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Absolutly wonderful, I see you were inspired by the king, you have good taste i really like this
all the best
Nightmare xx
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I like the first half of this piece, but the second half has less passion and is a bit flat for me...I think it can be worked a bit to liven up the softer images in the second half, make them more visual and emotive as those in the first half. You have skills and it is just a matter of letting go of sentences, I think. Make statements, complete thoughts, but not necessarily full sentences...less "I did this" or "I did that", and a bit more of ..."this happened"...LOL...Hope that's understandable...an example would be in line 3:...Instead of what you have, try: "Didn't want to fall in love again"...see the difference?, the same idea, just presented a little differently...this is an interesting contest and you did choose a particularly good song by Elvis..
Peace, Rhonda
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very nice and even the imaginary love can get involved here, very expressive and creative...PK
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Thank you for your comment.
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Good song choice, a very touching write. Thank you for entering!
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Thank you for your comment.
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I like the way how you started and ended it, it's true. The following lines caught my eyes "Hating her became my passion, Jealousy replaced my compassion."
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Thank your comment.
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"It is foolishness as my love is not in reality,
Still I become a fool and I rush in,
because I can’t help falling in love again."
some considers love foolishness, some consider it throwing one self to hollow...so many thoughts...but none can help falling in love.This is true. Loved it.
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Thank you for your comment.
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