I chanced upon a midnight sable
Fluttering atop my table.
He is tempted by the alluring light,
Which kept stumbling, through his flight.
At times the creature broke free
Yet others, he flew too close
Then suddenly
Light over his life, he chose.
When his wings got singed,
He beat them some more
Until five paces from where I sat,
The tempted moth's no more.
A contest entry
- Raven Qualifier - Culture: Religion, Society and Politics by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
The month got burnt my going to close to the fire. The moth's temptation is a good title.I am thinking this is an analogy between the moth and sin. Moth represents sin the light his is temptation.As one get closer to things that they know is wrong. It get easier to the cross the line. One could be writing about what one saw. I feel there a duality to this write. There can be two meaning wrapped into one. Each sentence builds on the other. The concept is clear and brief.There even a moral to this write. Flutter to close to temptation one will get burnt by their choice. very well done
Adding your comment:
