I drag on the ends
to find yellowy ruins,
my fleshy cap searing
and knowing
I can’t touch them.
The same patterns
of fraudulent ash
swirl and choke through
rotted floorboards,
his head suffocating
the remains of stalk,
(so alike in difference
and dignity, that we
lie dormant in a
permanent goodnight.)
These gifts of burden
And salt-licked wounds
snap at my little girl heels-
Those ruby red slippers
aren't f*cking here today,
it’s nothing but
ever-change.
~Empathy-eyes
Author notes
I wrote this today,
?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
i luv the last part....gifts of burnden and salt licking wounds....deep and vivid....i can picture it
-
Hey, i know i haven't been on in a while-your the only one i know of that still gets on here every now and then...lol...this a was a reallt good write hun i love your improvement, your stuff was great before but this is just awesome!
later!
-
I liked the ruby slippers part.I think my favorite was
The same patterns
of fraudulent ash
swirl and choke through
rotted floorboards,
his head suffocating
the remains of stalk,
That was really strong and I love how you gave such vivid metaphoric madness to him.
Excellent but of course.Take care and yes I'm fine and still breathing.
~helen
-
I like this. It's very dark but its good.
-
-
Thank you
-
-
Excellent
Its dark but very nicely written . I loved the last lines :
snap at my little girl heels-
Those ruby red slippers
aren't f*cking here today,
it’s nothing but
ever-change.
Very Good!
~Lisa~
-
-
Thanks very much
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
