You made Your Presence known to me by Grace,
when counting thorns on roses seemed my goal;
while flame grew dim, obscuring mournful soul,
abyss of desperation soon to face;
no dwelling-place to rest, just empty space ...
What reason had my life ? What was my role ?
The only answer silence, dark as coal,
on path where lights of past had left no trace.
I did not know that Silence was Your Name,
Pure Emptiness Your Nature, free and vast;
and darkness nothing else but lack of Light.
Your Love replaced my anger, fear and shame,
then filled my empty shell with peace to last;
perfume of thornless rose born in the night ...
Author notes
* Darshan … a Sanskrit term for „Vision of the Divine”
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OPTION 2 B - ITALIAN/PETRARCHAN SONNET IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER
petrarchan sonnet :
14 lines in iambic pentameter
divided into an octave and a sestet
volta in line 9
rhyme scheme abbaabba cdecde
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watch the video : http://s247.photobucket.com/albums/gg123/poetmaa/?action=view¤t=22darshan.flv
my constantly updated video-poetry :
http://allpoetry.com/poem/show/3791503
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In a list
A contest entry
- Sonnet ~ #50 Winklings Contest for friends and Allpoetry by Winklings.
3720 points, ended March 13, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Serious Fun with Sonnets - II by Peripatetic.
1500 points, ended October 6, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I did not know that Silence was Your Name,
Pure Emptiness Your Nature, free and vast;
and darkness nothing else but lack of Light.
Your Love replaced my anger, fear and shame,
I am confused by the word "Your" in this context. It seems to represent the emptiness and darkness, which I don't believe produce love. Perhaps I am missing something? In spite of that one question, this is a magnificent poem. Kudos!
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Emptiness or Void - not in its common connotation as "the lack of something", but in its absolute reality as Pure Consciousness ...
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what I got from the last line and the overall content of the authors sonnet here, is that the author found perfection in "peace", when first eluded by seeing reasons why the divine may not bring "peace", hence the question and solution. thoughtful poem.
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Wow, i really need to practice more and learn more words but i might be able to do one half this good in like 20 years maybe
just awesomness
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don't postpone ...
I'm sure you can do it NOW ...
thank you for your kind words, sweetie ...
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Bravo! A most beautiful vision and imagery here and a perfect sonnet, this has a depth of beauty and subtext that speaks to the soul, and congrats on the much deserved gold. This is a stately and beautiful peice.
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Bravo! Standing in applause!
Honed to perfection with a skilled hand, this Petrarchan Sonnet is simply outstanding. No more need be said except Bravo Poet! Excellent work. ~Pamela
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I have enjoyed this sonnet before, and there is no mistaking its lovely author, your photo gives you away. Best of luck in the contest - it depends on the results of several votes.
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Darshan ~ succinctly beautiful title
quite tightly integral to this poem. The oral reading has ensured that your placement of each caesura is perfectly timed. The evenness of the iambic pentameters then flow sweetly from darkness into light. The metaphor of the rose, thorny with egotism and selfcentredness moving to the perfumed rose of thornless selflessness is particularly beautiful and aesthetically complementary.
abba abba cde cde offers the perfection of a Boccacio or Petrarch. Yet, when well read, the rhyme is camouflaged by the gracility and fluency of the poem. Subliminally, the end rhyme operates echoically and well.
Many phrases speak to the path of your peaceful thoughts. Nature abhors a vacuum it is said. The same is true of human nature and the human spirit. The secondtercet bears this out well:
" Your Love replaced my anger, fear and shame
Then filled my empty shell with peace ...". Your enjambments are gentle: there but not rushing one onto the next line as this is not the texture of this spiritual poem.
The volta, too, is not pronounced but the whole sestet turns on the octet, wheeling itself around into an antiphonal set piece.
The title straightway resonated with me as the Sanscrit meaning of "Divine Insight" not all that far removed from Father G.M. Hopkins' idea of Inscape, which, too, exploded with power over the whole of his sonnets.
Dear sweet poet, your essence is divine.
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Absolutely beautiful with perfect meter; the imagery is candy to the soul and I’m so proud to be your AP sister. There are only a few of us that compose an Italian there on Ap and when penned correctly with love the art becomes a living thing. There aren’t enough superlatives to express the beauty of this poem and your heart.
Love,
Amera♥
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thank you so much for your generous comment on this little sonnet which I enjoyed putting on video yesterday - with the help of my feathered assistant garuda
marion
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This is a very wonderful poem I have read it several times and I will be reading this one again
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the rose without thorns
original thought as a rose without thorns a paradox sonnet of life and the divine....
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thorns = ego
perfume of thornless rose = selflessness
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Excellent Sharing
.... of thoughts about the unexplainable life and done with great form throughout! Very nice thoughts to ponder over as I go from day to day and a great rendering of a vision of the 'divine'. Good luck in the contest and I'm sure that you're already richer in spirit for having worked this one out! joy
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beautiful message and wonderful sonnet, never saw this form of sonnet done before and loved it. great write.
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Beautiful! We don't see too many Petrarchan Sonnets on the site especially one that is penned to perfection. Your flow and imagery is lovely, Iambic pentameter is on target and you nailed the volta at L9. Amazing!
Love,
Amera ♥
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anything that comes from the ancient language and beliefs of Sanskrit is so profound as to always leave one with mouth agape [for in reality the thoughts are merely rooted in common sense and acceptance] rather than how we always try to see it in its harshest light. i.e "dark is only a state of lack of light"and empty is needed in order to be filled up with the good again after having purged the ugly and bad and thereby made room for the better. I am always in awe at how simple it really is when we take it at face value [I guess it is another example of the "Ockhum's razor"<---sp? explanation. I lloved this as I could visualize you almost like littleRed riding Hood scampering through the woods and discovering a patch of thornless roses as if they had been planted there just for you to discover and bring a differnt perspective to your train of dark thoughts. [a subtle reminder that life is what we make out of it]
with much love I wish you the best in this contest,
xoxoxoxxoxoxoxo
jeanne/reenie
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Excellent
The form is lovely, dear one, and the message is wonderful. The volta at line 9 is clear and the mood lightens perceptibly. The contrast between "counting thorns on roses" and "Perfume of thornless rose" is the sonnet in a nutshell - but the images and thoughts deepen the message beautifully. Best of luck!
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