Every glitter piece that falls sparkling in
Step to the beat of cut-time heartbreak
Reminds me of the love I had for you.
Constant flickers and misunderstandings
Led to shaken. Make ups. Melt downs. Break up.
And I wish I could take back all that I
Could.. just to feel the confetti pieces
Of love you sprinkled on me-- your cupcake.
I miss the sugar candy kisses, love.
The way you’d wrap me in your confection
And you’re so pretty, babe, with your striking
Imperfections-- you only have a few..
I hope one day you’ll fall to your knees to
Tell me you miss me more than I love you.
Author notes
Aanika--
This is a shoddy sonnet form. I was hurting bad and just the beats fall where they wanted to. Sorry.
I will write something fresh in the next two days. I'm super busy with school and work and everything.. 
But I promise I will get something to you.
I love your writing.. and there's just so many pieces I want to show you of mine! But I cant write a hundred fresh poems by the time this contest enters. Thanks for having this contest.. I think it'll help me get past my block.
My screen name is shelly webster.
A contest entry
- personal poetry. ❤ by aanika.
1147 points, ended September 13, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
i miss him more than he will ever know.
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
'I hope one day you’ll fall to your knees to
Tell me you miss me more than I love you.'
that was BRILLIANT.
very nice write
-
screen name in author's notes please
I'll comment for real later.
[and thanks for my name in the author's notes]
-
-
Sure. My screen name is in the author's notes now.
-
-
i like this piece alot...
this is filled with emotion, i am so glad i read this
great write
-
This is a very sad peice and I am sorry you no longer have your love. But I must say that this peice is very well writen. Everything fit perfectly and the emotions expressed here just pour right out of the peice. This part was my very favorite:
"Every glitter piece that falls sparkling in
Step to the beat of cut-time heartbreak
Reminds me of the love I had for you."
I am not sure why but this part really seemed to hit me and ment the most. Excelent poem I really enjoyed this. Great job and keep up the good writing!
-
Ah, I'm sorry for your pain. But you've expressed it very well in this piece. Love can be such a heartbreaking experience. I hope you find peace and healing for your heart.
-
I love this piece. I can relate to this so much, and you write about it so well, rather than conform to typical cliches. I like your style of writing Well done with this piece, and .. good luck
-
awesome beat...outstanding piece I loved every bit of it.
-
a good beat here, kept together with a tight beat in your arrangement, i was just counting lines then and smiled - though perhaps not ending lines with i in the future poems you write that said, i enjoyed reading this poem, and i clicked at random here to find whatever and was pleased the first poem i cl;icked on was great
-
-
yeah i really didnt want to end on i.. but i wanted it to say what it does. : ( haha. so you counted lines and noticed that it was a sonnet? if you did, awesome. no one's noticed yet. my beats may be off a bit.. i tried to do iambic pentameter.. but i guess i never knew how the beats were supposed to go. : ) oh well. for my second sonnet, im pretty happy with it. thanks so much for commenting!
__shelly*
-
-
Oh man I can relate to this soooo well....Love that last line...Has bitterness but such....mph to it! That's the only way I could say it. Great poem! Great words put together.
-
Constant flickers and misunderstandings
Led to shaken. Make ups. Melt downs. Break up.
Those lines are beautiful. This entire poem is fabulous! -
with your striking imperfections
what a great line. this poem is so good. it hits me hard right now, because i'm going through a lot.. it's nice to just sit down and read sometimes i guess. "tell me you miss me more than i love you".. where do you come up with this? it's sheer beauty.
-
-
where do i come up with this?
heartache && brutal honesty..
spilled guts && folk lore..
rain checks and iou's...
still waiting for him to say "i miss you".
whoa that rhymed. not intentional. but.. i think the heart aches more than any muscle in the body ever could.. and im overworked this time around..
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
