Well, I try to be a good person
Giving unselfishly, receiving graciously
Living honest, simple and loyal
Never seem to doubt love
Just the ones I love
And since you left babe
I've barely said a word
And since you left babe
No one's there to listen
Since you left
I've been quiet
Wrapped myself in this cocoon of silence
Drifting throughout my days
Lost in my own little world
Craving a life altering change
To escape this annihilating pain
Keeping mostly to myself
Not saying a word
I enjoy listening to others stories
They tease me because I'm quiet
Monday, on this beautiful day
The day I almost died
Nearly caused an explosion
Blowing myself into extinction
What a waste of a life I have
With you out of reach
My love gone undeclared
Trapped in this cocoon of silence
And since you left babe
I've been quiet
A contest entry
- Anything by crazed-angel16.
370 points, ended July 7, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Ohhhhh... it took my breath away.
You really know how to make your readers empathize with your emotions! I mean, I could seriously FEEL this.
I love the image/idea of a "cocoon of silence" - it's vivid and strong.
A solid poem with a wonderful extended metaphor, this is one I could read over and over again.
I look forward to reading more of your work.
Despite the darker nature of this, I still felt some hope shining through - I am praying that you feel that hope as well.
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I sure know what it's like to be teased for being quiet. I've always been a quiet person. "cocoon of silence" is a great image. I like the phrases you come up with.
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This is sad I can relate to it wanting something so much and the door closes on you thank you for sharing I hope with time things do get better
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Nice piece of work!
The emptiness expressed almost to hard to bear. Cocoon of silence title a perfect fit.
I really love your poems. You touch the string of my heart that has gone out of tune. My comment seems false, too much too soon.
Hope to see more of you between the lines - keep posting!
Love you lots!
Mxxxxxxxxx
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too much to soon?
Well I guess you could say the same about me
Thanks my dear...you don't know how much it means to have touched your heat
Maybe you are the one to finally inspire me again
Much Love!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I haven't read any of your work in such a long time... I loved it because it was so heartfelt. You certainly have a raw innocence about you that you openly express through poetry. You won't recognise my user-name, I was some-one else on here before - or you might say just another missundastood poet Hope you are well - take care!
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Oh my...could it be?
My Australian love!!!
My dear....my dear
I hope all is well
Thanks for reading
Much Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A very honest piece, it has heart!
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oh babe... now i no...
im sorry this has happened to you..
great expression of your emotions though..
you have a true talen.. though i think you no that..
if you need some one to talk to il be here for you... -
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You're too sweet!!!
HEY!!!
Can you find me a job in Austrailia?
Yeah!!!
Thats were it is I believe
LOL
Much Love!
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wow ~ you've out done yourself! I really love the write! I love the background too! Not sure if the contest is done yet or not~ but I'll wish you luck!
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Wonderfully expressed!!! You have penned a poem of loss and the emotions are so real and deep!!
Blessings,
Azlyn
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Real !!!
I can really relate to this!
My favorite lines:
Drifting throughout my days
Lost in my own little world
Craving a life altering change
Me too!!!
A great write !
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Since You Left
Since You Left Dear
I can't write a word on here
I want you to come back
I won't give up to my heart break....
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A Very Very Very inspiring write..
I know how it feels coz as they call me I'm Queen of Silence & maybe for the same reason "yearning"--I'll tell you the story of yearning soon--LOL
Really great pain showed that when shared with us ---this pain was slightly removed to know that it's not only me that suffer...........LOL LOL
Keep on the Brilliant Work
Much Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GloriousGift
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This is a sad write. You have portrayed your feelings very well indeed. It is hard to trust someone who has betrayed that trust. Well done and good luck in this contest
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Intresting write. Giving of yourself loyally to others but never trusting the ones you love. Hard statement to make..but one I can most certainly understand. You give your trust to someone and then you are betrayed leaving it difficult to trust another with your heart.
Left unable to speak, to feel anything but heartache, silence over takes you for you withdraw into yourself rather than reaching out to another for you fear to trust.
Well written. Imagery and metaphore nicely done.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
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This makes me stop and think, wonder, or do you know...what it will take, what is needed, or what is wanted, to bring one out of the cocoon, out of the silence?
Well, I can certainly relate to parts of this, it speaks to the reader even quietly, which I find fascinating, allowing us into the thoughts and mind of the speaker, making it personal and real.
An effective and thoughtful expression...
Thank You.
Line 7 should say "spoken" and did you notice that 'cocoon' is spelled with an 'a' in the title?
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