Falling through the fog and rain
Landing in a field of grass
Not harmed, but feeling inner pain
At the sight of human mass
Kill him, he says through the dark
Before he kills you, he warned
Handing me a knife, a mark
On the handle for the scorned
He disappeared, left me alone
With the mission to complete
Killer or suicide prone
I went to where we’d meet
The knife in my back pocket
I ran to hug my victim
This joyous reunion locked it
I made my choice… it was him
He didn’t see it coming
I plunged the point through his skin
A lullaby softly humming
From me as he watched his world spin
He fell to the damp green ground
I whispered sorry in his ear
He tried to speak, make a sound
But he was gone, the fog cleared
I picked a rose from nearby
Placed it gently on his chest
Kissed his lips and with a sigh
Said, “Sleep, my love. Just rest.”
Author notes
I guess this could go for options one, three, and four so I guess I went over and beyond requirements! Lol. Anyway, this is a dream I had once. I know, a little freaky. Well, the speaker in this is also insane obviously since there really wasn't a man there telling her to kill this man. So, here you have it. A poem about insanity committing murder in a dream.
A contest entry
- The Gift of Lunacy by Marzipan.
850 points, ended June 13, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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*chuckle* What's wrong with having a knife in your back pocket? There was one line that really threw me off; "...a mark on the handle for the scorned." Say what? Were you just rhyming? But the story mostly makes sense and I LOVE the last stanza. The ending reinforces the entire mad theme, making the entire poem feel that much creepier. The title clarifies and confuses at the same time; it makes clear the concept, but not why. Why must you kill him or kill yourself? I realize you're mad in this poem, but even if it were warped logic, there'd be some reason behind it... But you did a great job with this one, honey. Congrats on the purdy trophy!
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Way to make a description of a murder into a romantic, almost sweet poem.
It's also quite fast paced and dramatic, though... I love the imaginary, evil presence telling her what to do. Very clear imagery... that must have been one hell of a dream
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wow yeah I guess it is a little bit of a freaky dream to have but I'm glad you had it else I never would have read this poem
The rhyme scheme is constant and the flow uninterrupted. This paints a truly beautiful image in my mind. x
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