look at her[decifer her]
she can tell you now
[you wont like what you see]
all the black is really white[if you believe it]
shes a fucking work of art
.hip.][.bones.&&[Bruises]
but to everyone looking in
shes the picture-x-perfect-x-body-x-mold
but shes plastic[so perfectly fake]
faded hair&&so-so-fake lashes[coated in black]
ruby red lips[applied all wrong]
&& a ying/yang smile[more faking]
the morphine drips into the bag
entering fluids[ontop of drugs]into her system
as she lays in[this dilema, this c a t a s t r o p h e]
shes s-u-r-g-i-c-a-l-l-y s/c|-a-|r/r/e)d&& ba)n)d)a)g)e)d
she asked to look like this
walking down highlighted streets
in stillettos&&painted face
showing her body[begging for attention]
but what if she could show them
the temptation[intimidation]
[envy is the new[botox]hunny]
she wasted her life
on fucking plastic&&addictions
that couldn't ever make her the one
worth dying over
[so she wasted her body]
showing herself off in mirrors
reflecting her differently[beautifully]
its[tragic]babe, just.so.damn[tragic]
she was .just.so.damn. pretty
but she couldn't find herself
in all those distorted mirrors
lining wall after wall.
[you take the blade doll
and she'll take the fucking poison]
m. m. o'malley
6-11-07
11 34 p.m.
Author notes
option #1-i used to of the quotes
option #2-i used 9 of them
option #3-i used 3 of them
#4 & #7
i dont know, its not my best and i wish i could fix it, but i hope you like it.
©♥
A contest entry
- .Hip.][.Bones. Gl*tter && S-u-r-g-i-c-a-l S/c|-a-|r\s ((why don't you just .kill. .me. .now.)) by Xombii.
569 points, ended June 23, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Like it? I love it, doll.
you used the options to your full advantage, and blew me away with it! This is such a sad story, Your imagery is fantastic, yet so depressing. your flow was great, nothing seemed forced or out of place. your punctuation wasnt over-done at all. and away from your poem a bit, I love the colors you chose for the font && links. lol.
anyways...
she asked to look like this
walking down highlighted streets
in stillettos&&painted face
showing her body[begging for attention]
Love those lines, doll.
Keep it up, thanks for entering.
[♥]
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i guess you could say i like poems that have all those options like that because it just really helps with the overall poem, idk, maybe its just me. as for punctuation, i cut down on that alot, now i mainly just stick to brackets and extra pieces if its in the options.
im so incredibly happy you liked this, it was so different for me to write. but i guess really, i do feel plastic&&fake because im trying so hard to be so much better.
thanks so much for the HM. and i'll definately be looking out for the next contest, if there isnt one up already.
♥.love.
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Wow. Just wow. I loved what you did with the brackets. It added so much emotion and... wow, I seem to have lost the capacity for rational thought. I can definitely relate to this!
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i like what i did with the brackets to. but this whole poem, i guess it just really isnt me.
but im happy you liked it.
thanks for the comment.
♥
=]]
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AWESOME!
WHO-HOO!!!!!! She is writing again!!
Now I have a smile on my face.
YAY!
but what if she could show them
the temptation[intimidation]
[envy is the new[botox]hunny]
she wasted her life
on fucking plastic&&addictions
that couldn't ever make her the one
worth dying over
That part was really cool. Awesome poem babe.
Knapp
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well im glad you liked it...i hate it, i dont know i guess it really isnt me. like the beginning is, but as it goes on, i feel like i just wasted memory and words. idk, at least i wrote something, that much im proud of.
but thank you for commenting.
♥Love.
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