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~* Distant - Shed of Tears *~

 

 

Stained with his essence
on parts of flesh,
never touched gently
by masculine hands;

they captured the Universe
in front of hollowed eyes
to fill

and bring hues once seen
an opportunity to shine
again.

Each finger left a print
on cold lips, blushed

with whisper
to warm breath.

Traces of lesson’s residue,
a birthmark of blessings
for later appreciation
are placed where mirror
catches its form.

Glass pieces he arranged
with loving precision
after Soul shattered
next to Heart’s urn;
rekindled Hope.

Sunlit smiles dried liquid pools
so feet did not get wet.

He spoke of today, tomorrow
and of another time
when the canvas painted
of Paradise
would be revealed;
promised
it to be unveiled together.

Gave priceless picture
t
o place under plumed pillow
when dreaming,
lullaby sung
before saying goodnight-
with image in hand,
crumpled.
 

Author notes

Req: Inspiration from this poem...
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3055602
Written by Whoochi...

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives. Unfortunately most of us are completely unaware of this fact and we do not monitor our thoughts with the care needed so that we can create in our lives the results we say we want. Since the great majority of people do not feel worthy and deserving of abundant good fortune, radiant good health and total success in all areas of their lives that overriding thought pattern controls the results people get. The first order of business of anyone who wants to enjoy success in all areas of his
her life is to take charge of the internal dialogue they have and only think, say and behavior in a manner consistent with the results they truly desire.
-Sidney Madwed

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • Turtle74
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    don't know if i like the ending

    it ends with crumple , what the hell i thought it was headed for a good place. Meta phyics thinking makes reality out of itself,recent movie called the secret talks all about it, i see myself young every day thats why i still get id'd buying my smokes


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant. You took her
    poem to an even higher
    level. Great inspiration.
    Well done.
    Best of luck in the contest.

    Jeannie


  • Amera gold member
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing!

    This is a perfect take on the picture provided. Well done!
    I'm trying to find out where I can get that lipstick; and ideas?

    Love,
    Amera ♥


  • Angels Delight
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Fabulous

    Oh Hun

    I am speechless...I am amazed my dear friend and I agree with everyone else that you are on a roll...

    It flowed beautifully, rolled off the tongue with such ease...Captured my mind and heart...

    You know I think you are the best ever...Once again you have proven why...

    Good luck in your contest my sweet friend...I wish you the best of luck

    Love you always
    Tes


  • poetryality silver member
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Simply Divine!

    BEAUTIFUL! You always write poetry that makes me read it two or three times to make sure I miss not one morsel. Your words are splendidly placed so that they flow with no effort at all. There are no interruption in the flow here and every word is understood. This is perfect for the Challenge as well. I wish you all the best dear granddaughter. I have just alerted your AP husband to the fat that he is my grandson. LOL The best to you in the Round Contest and Woo's Challenge. You are such a gift in my life!


    Always (Renee) Grandma ♥

    Renee


  • Tangled Angle
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice.

    Stanza 7 didn't flow good with me.
    Perhaps write it like
    'He spoke of today, tomorrow
    and of another time
    when the canvas painted
    of Paradise
    would be revealed;
    promised it to be unveiled
    together.'

    Not sure, but gives 'together' some emphasis. Also, it just flows better (for me) the way you have it works, but I just thought the way I would have put it would flow better.

    Just a thought.

    You did an excellent job.


  • soulfultia gold member
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with hubby! You are on a roll! Another brilliant penning and they are always so deeply layered! Excellent work and I read Whoochi's poem as well a ways back and think you really captured it! Fabulous...a winner! ~Tia


  • penman gold member
    June 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Oh my sweetness you are on some roll with your poems. Truly fantastic and powerful. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Whoochi gold member
    June 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Each finger left a print
    on cold lips, blushed

    with whisper
    to warm breath."
    I cannot tell you which part I love the most...this spoke to me of hope, and dreams to come in the future...simply beautiful and touched my soul..I thank you! Also TY for the authors note..love reading it..and teaches me and reminds me to listen to my heart and my "gut" sometimes the 2 cross signals and confusion erupts....


  • StarEyes
    June 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WHOA!!!!! This hits home for me!! WOW!!! I almost think you are reading my mind. LOL. What a great job you did on this one!!! Best of luck in the contest!!

    and much love always

    Nettie

1 - 10 of 10