Waltzing to destiny, our hearts seething in distress
on this never-ending game of fate’s blind chess,
the queen’s broken and left by the old mighty king
that stands tall against the laws worth of transgress.
The gallows burning in the cold light of the moon
that remains the reason to my eternity of swoon,
three nooses painting the stories that shall be
burnt to the books of history of our last late noon.
A mother, a child and a sister left with no voice
in this world made of paths with no right choice.
the stories mixed and lost in the lives of another
to find the last way for the world to rejoice.
I know I’m even still trying
to save the tears I’m crying
to paint the past of miracles
that is even today still flying.
The court has ended, the witches have vanished…
but my heart shall never again be banished.
Waltzing to destiny, my hearts seething in distress,
I’ll find my way to a life I shall once again possess.
Alone.
© Janniina Hentilä
June 12, 2007
Author notes
I tried to paint a picture of the witch hunts in this piece, still keeping to the picture that I used for inspiration (that can be found from the contest page you can find from below). Usually if I write about witches, it's burnings but this time I wanted something different. I tried a new rhyme scheme with this piece but I'm not too sure if it worked the way I wanted it to. You're the judge so be as nasty as you can!
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Entry in the contest:
"Picture Inspired 14" by The Sisters Grimm
A contest entry
- Picture Inspired 14 by February Moon.
300 points, ended June 26, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think - be as bold as you can; I don't break.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Actually, I have read this before, but it was definitely a delight to read it again. I loved the images that you portrayed in this, and the inspiration which you used.
Once again, congratulations on your trophy!
Write on.
~*~SP~*~ -
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Yeah I forgot to check the comments first... This hasn't been my month... lol
Thanks for reading it again and thanks again for your words; they really do mean a lot to me!
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absolutely beautiful, well deserving of the gold trophy.
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Thank you for your words and the comment; they mean a lot!
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This poem definitely earned the gold trophy! Your word usage and metaphor was outstanding, leading the reader exactly where you wanted them to go. I did feel that the rhyme was a little forced in certain spots, but without it, the poem would tell a different story. I am totally amazed with this piece.
Great penning
Yay! -
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I really worked hard on this one so I'm glad to know I did well with it. It might be that the rhymes do sound forced for that reason, of course. Usually, when you work hard enough with a piece, the poetic flow ends and you start using your head instead your heart. I do that a lot and regret that at the end...
Thank you for your words and comments; they mean the world to me!
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Yay
this is a awesome & really great write. I loved it.
my favorite stanza is:
The gallows burning in the cold light of the moon
that remains the reason to my eternity of swoon,
three nooses painting the stories that shall be
burnt to the books of history of our last late noon.
Kat
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Wuah, you picked my own favorite words! lol
I'm very glad you like this piece. Thank you for your kind words; they mean a lot to me!
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exequisitely done.....
the rhyming was smooth n soft no jagged edges. really
good job, and you flowed us with facts and emotion,
which is hard to do!
You did really good, deserving of that shining Gold Trophy!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
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This was a tough one to do; compining those two elements. I did go a bit off the facts, as it was rather uncommon to hang the witches in the timeperiod I thought this little story of mine would take place... But with so many stories of burning, I wanted to take a different turn. Sounds dramatic put that way but my head works in a bizarre way... lol
Thank you for your kind words and the comment, they mean a lot to me!
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Wow. That is absolutely amazing. You did an excellent job with this. Congratulations on your gold trophy, it was definitely deserved.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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Thank you for the lovely comment. This is one of my favorites from my own works, so I'm glad to know that people really like it. I am hoping for some criticism on it too, but it's always nice to hear kind words lol
Thank you for your words; they mean a lot to me!
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There is nothing here, but a very Spectacular piece of work. History books could take a new page from your words here. I commend you on taking this piece from a different out look than most would even think on.
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Thank you for your words. I'm happy that I was able to write such a piece that speaks of different things to the reader. I have heard a lot about this piece; good and bad naturally, but all of them seem to think a different thing when reading it. That's partly what I'm aiming for; writing something that can be read from different perspectives.
Thank you for your words; they mean the world to me
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SPECTACULARR! I love your bold and educated vocabulary. I have a wonderful vocabulary, but it just does not show in my poetry. It's great that it shows in yours, because it really helps. It could possibly be that you're older than i, but maybe you're just better at it. hah. ANYWHO! Great job.
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Thanks again. Well, I'm 21 years old so yeah, I'm older than you... But you still have an advantage here because English isn't my first language
I've worked hard for my English as well as my vocabulary. I do admit though that the all fancy words are thanks to the use of dictionaries... I couldn't work without them... lol
I'm very glad that you like this piece and thanks again for your kinds words. They really do mean a lot to me
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This is a spectacular piece. I love the topic you wrote about, very dramatic, and well researched. *nods* Great job here, I liked it a lot.
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I'm glad that you like this piece as it was a bit difficult for me. I like writing about witches but this went a bit further away from the style I usually write in. But I'm glad it turned out well. Thank you for your words; you know they mean the world to me.
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Even if I wanted to as nasty as I could, there is nothing mean or even bad I could say about this piece. I have no suggestions or constructive criticism, this is just simply wonderful. This is so eerily melancholy, hauntingly beautiful, and too damn perfect.
I love the title too, so simple yet so perfect. Now, I'm going to do something I never do when commenting on the entries in my contests, I'm applauding your piece. I really enjoyed it. Thank you so much for entering, I'm glad I got a chance to read this. 
Chelsea
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I'm so very glad that you found this poem good as it was a difficult poem to write. I think I rewrote it about 3 times before I was satisfied with it... lol
But I did try my best and that's the best I can do in poetry and in life. And I do feel a bit honored, being applaud this way. That brought a smile on my face so thanks for that.
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