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Leopardcazars' Big Party

It's the tiny Leopardcazars' big bash.
We must not wait.
They're rushing, coming with a big 'hooray'
You can't be late!

There are goody bags to pass out
and red balloons to fill.
There is just not time to waste, oh no!
I need a headache pill.

The Leopardcazars are very impatient
and definitely need to calm way down.
But how am I going to get them to sit
when there's no entertainment, like a clown?

So I call up a magician's workshop
and see if they're at all possibly available.
Waiting...waiting...they finally pick up!
Hooray, they're last scheduled party? They bailed!

The party is done, and boy, am I relieved!
The Leopardcazars left a ton of cake.
Do you think I should go and eat it right now?
Actually, how much do YOU want to take?

Author notes

By 'How much do YOU want to take?' I meant it to sound like I wanted to share it with you. I tried my best to make it rhyme. Also, I got 'Leopardcazar" from a leopard, then I just added a suffix to it...to kind of make it more interesting...lol. Oh, I almost forgot! I wrote this from a kid's view kind of. It was a little girl throwing a tea party for her stuffed animals. She just has a WILD imagination! Most of the parts can't really happen in real life done by a little girl throwing a tea party, like calling up a real magician and stuff. So it's mostly fantasy! Do you have any suggestions, complaints, compliments, or 'I hated it!' messages? I'll be happy to read them!

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Periwinkle Blue
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Sure!

    I will gladly take some cake. And some apple cider, too and I shall be glad to get some sugar cookies What a delightful poem!


  • tawk gold member
    September 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love how you wrote it from a child's aspect. I love the word Leopardcazars' so fun. Wonderful imagery throughout. Any child would love to read this. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest


  • Griswold
    June 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    LOLOL


  • Epistomolus silver member
    June 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Fun!

    This is a great little jingle in the jungle. I have a couple of general suggestions.

    1) The poem is mostly about the party, and not about the leopardcazar - all we know about them is that they are impatient, and they like birthday parties that are the same as human children's birthday parties. :-)

    2) I really like what you were doing with the meter in the beginning. Could you revise the poem and carry that throughout?


    We got the goody bags to pass out,
    balloons to fill.
    There's still so much to do, I'll freak out!
    Take a chill pill!

    Kind of a beatnik beat, somebody riding the high-hat in the background tss-ti-ti tss-ti-ti

    tuh ta tuh ta-ti-ta-ti ta ta
    ta tump tump tump
    tuh ta tuh ta-ti-ta-ti ta ta
    tump ta tump tump

    The four syllables are interesting. If you have the last two words accented in those short lines, it gives a groovy little rhythm to it.

    Wait, I know what this reminds me of - the bunny hop! Yesh! I'd like to see you keep the long and short pattern throughout the poem. It's up to you, of course. :-)

    -Epistomolus