Her face is unfeeling
Her eyes unseeing
Her wings bent and broken
She's beaten and she's down.
The light that once shown so brightly,
Has been dimmed beyond repair
Her soul is scarred and shattered,
Her heart is broken and scattered.
She's fallen down from heaven
And cannot rise again.
The face that once held a smile
Is forever marked with sorrow.
She is chained to the ground
By Everlasting bonds
She's drowning in her tears
She's choking on her name.
"Little Angel"
God once called her
As he dubbed her with her wings.
A little angel she was
An angel that knew no pain.
Until one day she fell,
The longest fall of all.
"Little Angel" fell from heaven.
Into satins devilish claw.
She lies there in cold
In surpassing pain
Crippled and broken
And forever maimed.
The little angel god made
Is slowly fading away
But until that time she'll lie there
Choking on her name.
A contest entry
- Ages 13 and Under ONLY ~ Pick an Image and write what comes to mind by Amunet Wolfbane.
300 points, ended June 26, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Awesome
How said, coming from a religous background I can see both the sadness of leaving God (and falling into "satins devilish claw" and also just the sadness of a beatuiful thing that has just become a waste. Very Very Good.
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A lovely and suspenseful piece you've crafted here. I really enjoyed this one :D Great job!
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This poem gives a very beautiful description of the poem and brings quite some feelings along... well written!
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The emotion rippling out from this piece in dark waves of description and imagery is wonderful. However, (I'm kind of playing Simon here but I want to give you feedback more than compliments,) I do not think it was very clear. It is beautiful, but hard to understand....perhaps include some more explination in future poems like this. Overal, good job.
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Sure realist07- This poem is supposed to express the angels pain- and "Slowly fading away" is to indiecate that she's dieing. "Choking on her name"....It all depends on how you interpret it...
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this is a tricky poem could you explain the ending
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wow
unlike the colourful picture, this is REALLY dark. (a good thing) meaning you pulled all the loneliness, pain, suffering, and loss from the picture and put it in the poem... wow.
i'm not so good at writing dark, so this is really awesome for me.
good luck~
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Great! you really get the feel of it! I myself am good at writing dark poetry..I try to write love poems and other things related to that but the dark poetry is what flows....anyway awesome job!
p.s. I'm new and i have a question. I put a background on my page and some kevin gave me a message saying about my memdership being paid for for 5 days and ill have to redeem it?? all i did was put a background in?? what does it mean? do i have to take my background off becuz itll charge me??? -
Oh, I am 12, and I chose the first picture to write on. I also have no Idea why it says the title is (Her Face Unfeeling) It's actually called "Fallen Down"
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