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Darken Room

intro:
flowers of love
into petals of doom
so here I wallow
in my darkened room
body:
forsaken  and shallow
from life's dusty broom
by ways of the hollow
please empty moods end soon

gaze upon this weaken vessel
rusted words sound so fickle
sinking down to wrestle
bounded memories that don't tickle

 its only feelings
that you've broken into
leaving wound's reeling
empty this hurt my dear boo

 

ending:
frighten me again and again

tortoure my inner soul

leave me for your raped has been

painful sorrow in the winds I blow


A contest entry

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Comments


  • AureateCorona
    June 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the ending was poetic and vivid but the beginning of the body seemed awkward almost... like you strove so much for rhyme that you lost meaning. Some of your expressions though were very artistic and unique (like 'life's dusty broom', etc.).

    Good luck in the contest.

    -AC-


  • alexandrathegreat
    June 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad but I smile all the same, because these are the cards you and I have been dealt but we have to make the best of it and help each other through depression, brave of you it is to write this so persinal and sad it dug deep in my heart thank you for the great read and good luck