If you ever feel the need to leave
Just do one last thing for me
dont let me be the last to see
If you ever feel the need to run
remeber all the days of fun
because there will be no sun
if you ever feel the need for change
dont worry if i say something strange
and my life i will rearrange
if you ever feel the need to be free
we had some good time you must a agree
lonely my heart will be
if ever there is a time that your love in not shown
do me one last favor, throw me a bone
and Dont let me be the last to know
Author notes
thank you to the one i owe my new life
because once i was his wife
this is your moment Daniel Paul Leonard
A contest entry
- Poetic Lyrics by Anfractuous.
335 points, ended May 8, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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wow....It's very true, well written, and easy to read. Good luck to you.
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I like this write....Don't let me be the last to know....The title speaks for itself..Only cowards, cannot confront reality and telling the truth..For a young poet you are on track dear niece....and I urge you to keep the pen moving and your inspiration alive!
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Sad But True
Right on the money. Too bad most people don't have the courage or even the simple courtesy to just tell you straight out "it's over." But that kind of betrayal and confusion can inspire good writing, so I guess it's not all bad! :-P
Drive fast - take chances, and keep up the good work. -
Very Good
if ever there is a time that your love in not shown
do me one last favor, throw me a bone
and Dont let me be the last to know
Like how the ending was tied in
well done
Rick
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this was a great poem i like what your brother had to say to this one i laughed my ass off when i read what he put this was a great poem i liked it so much. i agree with you on this poem and the relaysionship thanks for sharing keep that pen flowing and remember god loves you so god bless you in all you do love you my cousin dianna lee green also knowned as serenity lynn silvermoon
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how are still on my list
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I
totally agree. Tom Cruise did that to Nicole Kidman. Everyone knew he was leaving her and she didn't find out tell she came home and all his stuff was gone.
Anyway great poem with rhyme and it really flows well. I love poems like that!!!
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This does show amazing emotion from your heart...writing something to someone can't come so easy to us and you have really put your heart into every line...great job here...smiles, Terry
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I find this a very emotional and indepth piece. You really put it on the line. Why it always ends that way being the last to know, is beyond me...I think this piece says alot...Great job
Soulful Woman
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This is so beautiful and heartfelt. I love the rhyme and flow of this piece. You have expressed yourself so well. The love you have for this man is hard to miss. Great work.
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This is very good and expresses what many of us feel. Why are we always the last to know? Do they want to make us feel stupid as well as hurt, betrayed and unloved? Anyway, my issue. Great poem, well done!
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I agree, if you did a little work to this, these could be the lyrics to a killer song. Great job on this one, sis. Loved it.
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I like it. I like what your trying to say. I don't think that you displayed this the way that you fully intended, but that doesn't stop the reader from seeing your point. If orchestrated right, this could be a very good song. Keep writing and your words will sound as beautifully as the picture that you've painted in your head.
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I think this sums up my life perfectly right now, the ones we love are always the last to know things and definately the last to see them (rose coloured glasses) sad but beautiful at the same time...
Karen
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very heartfelt write about the chances that everyone takes when they fall in love. The first stanza sounds as if it's coming from someone who's been jilted before and everyone knew before them. And the remaining stanzas say that they're still holding on to luggages of doubt and mistrust. very nicely written
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