Borrowing words that don’t seem to fit,
smoking, no— chain-smoking Marlboro cigarettes.
Caressing the keys, tentative type—
waiting for the Muse to bloom in the dead of night.
Imitate Dickenson, copy Plath?
Pseudo-Frost style, seeking core amaranth,
aiting, spacing, and grandiose praise
grows with each sentiment to amaze.
A real rhyme scheme, feminine’s what
they call it now, right? A work that
doesn’t quite suit a particular form.
Is that really subtlety? A deviant norm?
Or is it so androgynous, the sexless-- classed,
that allows for a cheap shot at long last?
A blow to the ego would make great folly
to end such an abomination, levelly, wholly.
Author notes
THEME: Dealing with Poetry and Writer's Block
Username: Avatar of Innocence
A contest entry
- For all of you Brilliant young Poets...20 and under.... by islekine.
750 points, ended June 8, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Craze Contest by BlackSwan.
550 points, ended June 29, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Critique Please! Be RUTHLESS! I LIKE IT ROUGH!
Comments
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very good, brilliant write
enjoyed the rhyme scheme very much
-GL in contest -
Aloha and thanks for entering!
Your third stanza is a bit rough...Title may read better just: Cunningly, deceptively Adroit. There is no need to CAP each line...it breaks the flow...Not fond of the dashes- but a lot of people aren't fond of my... ...
all in all, a great entry!
Best wishes in the contest...
complete score posted at end.
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Thank You for Your Insight
I'm still figuring a way to be unique with my title. I agree my third stanza needs polishing...Now that I'm taking your advice into consideration, I realize the whole thing actually needs polishing and further editing. Thank you for your critique!
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