Should the crew degenerate around its creed?
Or how does our bond pretend?
The gut generates the literate hypothesis,
And a freak humors citizens.
The crunch awaits the comic crunch.
Ambivalence gowns an offset without the diary.
The fundamental anguish services a graphic justice,
Before myth objects into a rude light.
The porter poses after a conservative,
but any monkey grows before an aspect.
How will that convict negate the stiff,
Before the false eye turns to electric death?
Underneath a compound paces the vote,
Against a life, reflects the speaker.
Another horrible universal gossip,
The ridden controversy walks beside a cured murderer.
Past the devoid sentence crawls the star analysis.
The rhythm accents the pinched dogma lying next to the historian,
And the maker apologizes opposite an annoying misfortune.
But the liver copes!
The crunch awaits the comic crunch.
Ambivalence gowns an offset of reality.
The fundamental anguish services a graphic justice,
Before myth objects into a rude light.
A stereotype worries this explosive mindset
The car degenerates in her freeway.
Can the desperate mimic leak underneath the trust?
Her steel doubles as a safeguard.
Author notes
If you don't get it, the category is society.
A contest entry
- "life is no way to treat an animal" - kurt vonnegut by Avani.
500 points, ended June 27, 2007, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Terrorism by flyingphoenix.
750 points, ended July 17, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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totally devine
i must say your stlyle is so interesting.
i was completely engaged when i was reading your poem.
it also was thought provoking.
i must read it a few times to truly appriciate
what you are trying to say.
but i did love it.
candy
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This piece took a very careful and considerate mind to create! Loved the twist and turns in the write and loved even more that I had to read it a second time when I found out what the subject was - brilliant!
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It was like... read between the lines.. yet, it was right there. Definitely complex and riddled with hidden (sic) meanings. Life is a trip. Nothing makes sense but everything just is and people will be people - even if it kills them. Awesome write. d
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amazing. it's complexly simple way of pointing out the irrationality behind it all. i especially like this line:
The rhythm accents the pinched dogma lying next to the historian -
Wonderful
A cocktail of excellent abstract images!The crunch awaits the comic crunch! Wonderful display!
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Well, you've definitely put a lot of thought into this piece and I can see the society cliches addressed and represented in your words but all that being said, it is still somewhat over my head and I would still need some certain clarifications for some of the details. Maybe I'm just too tired to comment properly, then again, it's not the commenting where I lack at the moment but the comprehension. I must admit when I am defeated intellectually and now is one of those times. Excellent job!
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