A heart torn in pieces.
Impossible to replace.
Trying to find a way
through an unforgiving past.
which way to turn
the right or to the left
either way is a promise of doom.
You see, this heart is hurting
and no matter which way it turns
the pain will not cease.
Like a twisted tornado,
destroying everything in its path,
my heart destroys me...
and i am afraid
Afraid that my heart will win
and I will never enjoy peace again.
Author notes
I wrote this in 5 minutes. I'm just in a world of pain and i'm trying hard to escape.
A contest entry
- Prewrites---------And Quick!!! by Hebz.
425 points, ended June 16, 2007, 96 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "I'm sad" POETRY :( by thelovesongwriter.
345 points, ended June 20, 2007, 96 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Feel Again by californiagirl.
800 points, ended March 13, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is obviously a sad poem, but it didn't make me feel sad. It just let me know that you are/were sad. Not a bad poem overall. Thanks so much for your entry and good luck!
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Wow! For a 5 minute write you said a lot! Most of my poems are fairly quick writes. It is like they are just there and come flowing out.
Your imagery is very powerful. I really like this one:
Like a twisted tornado,
destroying everything in its path,
my heart destroys me...
This really pulls me in. Keep writing!
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Wow. I know what you mean there. That is very well penned my friend. Thanks so much for the read and keep it up.
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I know the feeling. And I mean that two ways, the feeling that no matter what you do, something bad's going to happen, it's going to be yuor fault, and you're going to be in oodles of pain. But also, I meant that so often I get mad and write several poems in 20 min. just to blow off steam. Glad to see I'm not the only one, and you're pretty good at it.
**Erin -
WOW!!
sad but powerful & brilliant write..
Thanks for entering my contest & best of Luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
You've described a heartbreak perfectly. Well written, good luck in the contest.
whisper
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This is powerful. Really powerful I think you did a wonderful job with it. Keep penning hun
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Wow. I really like this. It was very touching and powerful. I could feel the emotions comming from your words. I thought it was very VERY good and very VERY well written.
Megan -
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Thank you Megan, your comment is greatly appreciated.
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