Locked away
Water drip legality
Slips down a deaf memory
Too harsh for the velvet lining in your head
Breathing deadbeats into life
Too loud for peace
Is our love anything more
Than just a
Number
In a list
A contest entry
- Phrase Prompt: I by Hadji Murad.
300 points, ended June 11, 2007, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Awesome ending. Very powerful and emotional in a nice and abstract yet creative way.
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Awwww. I know what this is about and it makes me very sad. It is a very good write though.
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Is our love anything more
Than just a
Number
This is great. It reminded me a lot of my current situation which isn't so .. great. The imagery, I must say, is excellent. Wow .. I'm just at a loss of words here because of how much I can relate to this. I didn't even have the words for my own emotions and here you are, just pouring it in front of me.
I'd paste the phrases where everything just completely covers my feelings, but I'd be pasting the whole poem.
Jeez, I don't know how to explain anymore, sorry.
NeveR ♥
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Hmmmm
This is unique and seems to take a wonderful interpretation of the prompt.
The legality of the water dripping seems to create this sense of order and naturality, yet that order is shattered by the chaos of the noise, the breathing deadbeats into life (wonderful image by the way) and the statement that love is just a number, and yet making it a question, as if trying to find hope in a universe of chaos...trying to find that order.
It's so nice and the words are powerful and beautiful. You did this contest with great conviction and justice!
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This is relly cool. I had to read it several times. Enjoyable read.
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