Night after night we waited
in separate rooms, in separate towns
Love aching at our hearts.
We didn't understand the challenge
that had been thrown into our faces.
Was this love meant to be?
Both disclaimed and on our own
not allowed to be together
no family to go home to
we still held on
through it all
vowing to never let go
promising to never give up.
Two years later, we try again
but it isn't the same
The love hasn't faded
but the minds have.
We are both so far away still
How little it takes to tear love apart.
We carry on with our fake relationship
showing everyone that we're okay
we're proving to them that we made it.
Until you had to leave again.
sent away without notice,
never to return
Night after night we waited
in separate rooms, in separate towns
Love aching at our hearts.
We didn't understand the challenge
that had been thrown into our faces.
Was this love meant to be?
Author notes
XdollfaceX forbidden love
A contest entry
- Forbidden Love by Ignis Corpus.
425 points, ended July 17, 2007, 36 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Excellent and could not fit the contest more..have had this kind of relationship and it s painful.....well done...Congrats!
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Night after night we waited
in separate rooms, in separate towns
Love aching at our hearts.
We didn't understand the challenge
that had been thrown into our faces.
Was this love meant to be?
wow those lines are the lines i was looking for good job and good luck -
WOW
This sounds excactly like the situation I am in right now. Damn I didnt expect this from the title but I'm glad as hell I read it now. Its a great poem and very well written. Thank you for this.
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unique style here repition of stanzas, interesting effect, has a certain appeal for dramatic emphasis, reminds of a villanelle form...PK
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I'm not a very big fan of the repitition at the front
in seperate rooms, in seperate towns. The feeling of seperation was already present, but you don't have to say it twice. However, I'm not sure how I would change it. It almost seems like it's a song.
I'm a fan of this poem overall. I think you could have used several more literary devices...I.e. Metaphor, simile. But that's completely up to you. It has a real down to earth feel to it, and I like the overall theme of the poem. It does seem a tad bit cliche, but not overpoweringly so. I don't know hardly anyone that can make a love poem completely NOT cliche. So good poem, good take on the prompts.
<3 Thanks for entering.
Danielle
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a.mazing dolly
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I really like this. It's so sad. Why can't love ever be easy?
Two years later, we try again
but it isn't the same
The love hasn't faded
but the minds have.
We are both so far away still
How little it takes to tear love apart.
^^^^^^^Wow, it's so true that it takes so little to tear love apart. This is great doll.
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Aww, thank you
and yeah, everyone thinks love is so strong, but then something so small happens, and BOOM..you lose it.
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Awsome Poem!
Awwwww... that's so sad! I hope that that isn't really happening... that would really suck. But... i guess i can't say much bc im in a similar situation *sigh* i guess some guys are just totally stupid! Oh well... this was a great poem! Keep up the great writing!
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thanks
...true story. this guy isn't stupid though, he's my dream come true..and I am his. but sometimes things come between people to show them that they aren't meant to be.. thanks again for the comment. i hope your situation gets better.
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this is really good i like it keep it up hun
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