Like you
I
want to be a veil of dust
hanging
from the tip
of the mountain
but I am here,
sipping from the
whales pale eye
while waving goodbye
to you
from across the world
Author notes
A goodbye to a good friend....?
A contest entry
- Goodbye? by writingismycure.
700 points, ended January 1, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
This is really good. "from across the world" Thats how it feels when you're graduating. You build yourself up for this moment and then in a blink of an eye, its over and you crossed over to the other side. Thanks for your entry, and goodluck in my contest
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I have to agree with dave
"Like you
I want to be
A veil of dust
Hanging from the tip
Of the mountain"
was a amazing line.
But my fav has to be
"But I am here,
Sipping from the
Whales pale eye"
that was pure poetic penning.
-
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thanks?...uh i thought you had already read this one,this one is about dave i think that's why he liked it some much..it's a poem of admiration
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"Like you
I want to be
A veil of dust
Hanging from the tip
Of the mountain"
damn kid
thats pure brain fuck right there
that line...it flows well
it rests well in the eyes too
maybe I just realy like the word veil or something
but that sentence looks good
oh yea..and that poem with the forecast thing I was gawking about so much
it is called
"When Shadow Puppets Bleed"
great write jordy
I do believe I shall sit on this computer one day and peck at your words
but of course I had to delve into what you write about me
I'm vain like that
word...
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