Hung by the light of the moon,
I watched my body swing
In ethereal form I pondered
What did I do wrong?
I went to bed at the proper time
I ate all my vegetables
I never got dirty
And stayed out of sight
That's what I was taught.
I played with those acceptable
And never said anything bad
I helped others when they fell down
And shared my toys
That's what I was taught.
I was respectful to my elders
And made friends with all the girls.
I went to church every Sunday
And never ate sweets before dinner
That's what I was taught.
Mummy was a martyr
I heard Goody Pope say so
Until, what was it,
She said something bad?
I don't really remember.
They called her a witch...
What's a witch??
Mummy died next to me.
But I still don't know what I did wrong.
Why did I have to die?
A contest entry
- Picture Inspired 14 by February Moon.
300 points, ended June 26, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Result Of Boredom: A "Whatever" Contest by Friday.
525 points, ended January 25, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I really like this poem. It reminds me of the Crucible. Possibly because you used "Goody", but i think the general vibe of it is much the same; the incredulity, the bemusement, etc.
Awesome through a straw = strawsome.
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Actually I was inspired by the crucible, and Goody Pope is in there somewhere.
Clever to have spotted it hehe ... Wow, really?? is it strawsome?? cooooool XxX
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Really, take my straw-based-praise, you deserve it.
Hurray for spotting influences!
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Though this poem is truly traumatizing in showing the horror of unfair death, the flow seems slightly wrong through most of this. The flow seeming off doesn't take away from your poem as much as it would take away from others because it is in the point of view of a young child. Good luck, and thank you for entering.
Chelsea
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