Somewhere In The Middle.

Somewhere in the middle,
or maybe in the beginning,
I don’t know,
I was waiting for you to show.
I had pre-meditated the events
that lead up to my downfall,
to my scripted social death;
that added to my talent,
with developing habits.
I sent them directly
into the flesh that clothes me.
Talk about ungrateful.

I disconnect myself and put
away the spare pieces so neatly
it’s disgusting.
Oh, It’s the very pits of loneliness,
that I come from, yes sir.
That’s me. Lonely, drunk,
and unenthused.
And you know, you?
you’re so beautiful and you can’t
even see that it’s true.

Anyway, you called.
10 a.m.
I stopped in my tracks,
thought “who’d be calling?.”
I swore there was something
special, I heard more in it's ring
and there you were.
My wonderful, perfect boy.
I wanted you
and needed to be your friend.
Your thoughts of me were all so
lovely and swee-ee-eet and free
until the end.
That's how it always is, though.
That how the story goes.

And sometimes your eyes,
they look so empty
they could swallow me whole.
Wish I could fill you like I did.
Wish it was me you missed,
really do.
Wish I could get you to the sky,
and let you breathe in that big blue
ocean of everything vast
and out of reach.

Seems like that's where you need to be.
Seems like you were meant
for more, more than me.

But there’s no happily ever after,
there’s no kiss to come home to,
no body to get warmth from,
no skin to press myself up against,
nothing tonight and I just might
fall into my usual pattern,
I just might put myself in the position.

I'm sorry but this isn't what I'm used to.
I don’t know a better way and neither do you.
It was so simple, then,when I believed in one.
One, and not two.

When you believed in me,
when I believed in you.