Mothers Name

The pain just grew
As she threw down her pen
Screaming her mothers name
Like the lords, in vain
She falls down
Onto her knees
Her hands out beside her
As if she was hung on the cross herself
Looking up to the heavens
Asking, "Why".

She was so young
Only seventeen at the time
God ripped her mother
Right from under her
Without her even saying goodbye
Not even one last I Love You

She came down the stairs
Not one tear fallen
And stared at her mother
Laying lifeless in the livingroom
Peaceful and Cold

She couldn't think
Her mind blank
Like the paper in front of her

She just stared at her
And at that moment
She didn't want to be there
She didn't want to hear the
I'm sorrys
The what happened

She ran outside
Trying to breath
Her chest tight
Her heart beating
It felt like a mile a minute

She wanted to cry
But the tears wouldn't come
Her father tried talking to her
And she just stared at the ground
Not concentrating on his words
Just on his shoes
Noticing they were the ones
He wouldn't let her mother throw away

He walked away
And a new pair of shoes arrived
Her grandmothers
She looked up briefly
To see her grandmother
Crying and wanting a response
She couldn't give

The shoes disappeared
And a silent tear ran down
Her right cheek
That is all the crying she did
That Tuesday night

Wednesday came
And it still hadn't became real
Everything moved in slow motion
Family Talking
Sounded like whispers
Eating felt like a habit
Crying wasnt a option
Leaving wasnt either
She just sat there
Pretending
Like usual

The next two days
Went by like a breeze
Family she hadnt seen in years
Showed up to apologize
Bringing food they didn't need

That Saturday
Was the funeral
She didnt cry
She didnt know why

They buried her
In the middle of a field
She looked alone
But in a good location

Going home was the hardest
She walked through the door
Like a zombie
Not talking to anybody
Just making sure
The food was out
For the people she hardly knew
That were going to show up

She stayed silent the whole time
Then left
Going anywhere she could
Just driving to get her mind off of it
It didnt work
She went back home and slept

Out of school
Three days
That monday came
And she was forced to go back
Only two teachers cared to tell
Her friends what happened
Agian she heard the
I'm sorrys
The what happened

She stayed silent
She didn't want to break down
She walked home
Slow that day
Not wanting to come into a house
And looking at where her
Mother used to lie

She went into the house
And ran up the stairs
Keeping silent
Not caring that her father
Asked how her day went

She sat down on her bed
Not doing anything
Just trying not to cry
Acouple hours passed
She got back up
Shuffled down the stairs
To see her father
Sitting and staring blanking at the t.v.
She didn't say a word
As she slipped out the door

She drove to a friends house
He wasnt home
And that was the first time
She actually felt alone

Then she realized her mother
Wasnt coming back
And she got back in her car
And cried
Staying in his empty driveway

She sat there for about an hour
Crying
It wouldnt stop
Came in sheets
Down her already stained face

She tried driving home
Tears still coming
Pulling into the driveway
She walked into her house
Ran up the stairs
Slammed her door
And sat down agianst it

Sighing she whispered
"I love you mom,"
"You are forever in my heart,"
"I will miss you always."