i wish we had hot water,
to wash away the dirt of this life
then i could take the time
and scrub away the frustration
that i feel every time i'm blamed for someone else's
failures;
and every night i go to sleep unheld.
i wish we had a level floor,
so that something could make sense
when i come home and collapse
after living in a world
where technical advancement just puts me farther on
behind,
and my am radio speaks static and spanish.
i wish i had central air,
so i could cool my angers; and
see the blessings of this my home
and a world that's still feeding me.
but the cold water and the hot air are metaphors for
my mind
and the pieces that won't stay put.
i wish we had hot water;
i wish i had a new world...
A contest entry
- These Times by skaldkraft.
450 points, ended July 11, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Sorry something happened and the contest will have to be cancelled
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GREAT
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH -
"i wish we had a level floor,
so that something could make sense
when i come home and collapse
after living in a world
where technical advancement just puts me farther on
behind"
Isn't that the truth??? The more time~saving devices they invent, the more hurried & harried we get...Good penning, Poet... Wanda
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I think there is pretty much a world full of people that would be inclined to agree with you here. Ver nice job, thanks for sharing.
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Interesting write. I like what you did with it, though, the parallelism and metaphors. Wonderful wording in an excellent write. Great job. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes. Take care.
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"i wish we had a level floor,
so that something could make sense
when i come home and collapse
after living in a world
where technical advancement just puts me farther on
behind,
and my am radio speaks static and spanish.
i wish i had central air,
so i could cool my angers; and
see the blessings of this my home
and a world that's still feeding me.
but the cold water and the hot air are metaphors for
my mind"
awesome parts;;
good one doll-
xoxo
-alice
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