In the failing light of the dim candle,
I scribble on the paper my words.
As thoughts fly around in my head,
chirping like twittering birds.
Words come and go,
and on his wings, far flies Time.
Not knowing how precious they are,
he carries away thoughts so divine.
I reminisce when looking into your eyes,
I spoke to you from my heart.
And of a wonderful feeling,
that was the start.
This little song I write to you,
with eternity in my mind.
Sealed with a kiss,
and with all my love signed.
A contest entry
- Basically Anything! Come look! by lalaland024.
425 points, ended June 16, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this is not a rewards poem. fix befor contest closes tonight
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Beautiful, tender, romantic and elegant...love the last line...."with all my love signed..." excellent...
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I so love this and maybe more than any! It doesn't have fancy words, it isn't as eloquent as your usual writes but it is so sincere and heartfelt that I have to bookmark it! The title drew me in and it is so sweet it left the sweet taste of honey upon my lips as I murmured the words to myself!
Much Peace and Love
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A very creative write. It has a very nice thought that is shown throughout the piece. One quick thing though, take a look at the line "In the failing light of the candle light". You used "light" twice in the same line so do you think you could come up with another word to represent "light" and revise please? (maybe glow, lambency, effulgence, glare, etc.)
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
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