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Drip

I was the guy
That you never noticed
The guy that meant
Absolutely nothing to you

I never thought it would come to this

Simple invite to your big party
I was the first guest there
Confused on why you
Gave me the invitation

You left me in a room
At your house while
You went to shower
For about ten minutes

You came back
Only in a towel
My heart jumped
Why?

You were the most
Beautiful
Popular
Sexiest girl in school

And you were standing before me
Nearly naked

You said to me
I want to show you myself
My heart skipped a few beats
Lust and confusion hit me like a shovel to the head

I stood coming to you

STOP!

Is what you said
Then smiled and laughed

"I was just kidding!"

Then you left again
To change into clothes

I left that party early
Skipped school the next day
And waited

Waited

Waited

Waited

Behind the bushes in the park
Along the path you walk
To get to your home

This is where I emerged
Knocking you unconscious
Unseen by anyone
I took you away

You slowly woke up
To a throbbing pain on your head
And a burning sensation
Groggily you looked around

Drip

You feel hot water
Drip on your forehead
Slowly but constantly
At random intervals

Drip

Drip

Boiling hot
Above you is a tube
Attached to a kettle
Hanging above an open fire

Drip

Your breathing picks up
You try to stand
But you find you are tied down
By hands and ankles

Squirming to get away
Drip
The water hurting so much
Drip Drip
You tug at the ropes

And then you scream

What a blood curdling scream it was

Drip

I come in
Watching you cry for help

Drip
Drip
Drip

Tears flow as you see me
Begging for help
I simply smirk
Then you see it

And you scream again

Drip

I close your mouth
You whimper and cry
I run a gentle finger down your body
You shiver

Drip
Drip

You notice now
That you are only wearing
A bra and panties
And I touch you gently

Drip

Such a dirty little whore
A common slut in my eyes
My eyes filled with insanity
So much hate on you

Drip

You cry
I see the fear in your eyes
You think I want you
To have you

Drip Drip

I shake my head
No my dear
You don't deserve it

Drip

I take out a knife
You squirm and scream again
Trying, wanting to get away

Drip

It's useless
I scrape the blade
Softly across your flat belly

Drip

A small cut forms
And bleeds
On that toned and tanned stomach
So silky and sexy

Not anymore

Drip

Your tears stain your face
Ruining your makeup
I simply smile
Your eyes show me fear again

You should cry more
Your tears will
Wash away that
Mask you hide behind

Drip

Drip

I raise the knife to your neck
You close your eyes tightly
Tears pushing through
As you feel cold steel on your neck

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

Drip

You open your eyes
You see me standing before you
Moving your arms and feet

I have cut the ropes

I start to walk away
You stand, legs shaking
And ask me
Dare you ask me

Why? Why am I letting you go?

I turn
In your eyes
I see this moment will torture you

Forever

And ever

With a wicked smile I speak

"I was just kidding."

Author notes

The idea just came to me....at the time...I was...alone...no one to love me...no one to care for me...so whos to blame me for having my own bit of fun?

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 55 of 55
  • Very nice and well written..too many drips tho but altogether a loveley poem..


  • LaCkOfCoLoUr
    July 16

    Edit | Reply

    Absolutley rockin

    wholley hell this is such an awesome poem the imagery is awe inspiring making you shiver and leaving you cold for a long time after wards its terrifying and brilliant, there is no large or useless words cluttering the poem it is simple and cold, a great read thankyou good luck in the competition!!!


  • Riftkin gold member
    July 16
    Edit | Reply
    I said it before and will say it again, this is a demented tale you have woven.


  • Deathless1
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    that was really good, but did you tell me to think in the way of the girl and you the guy?
    that is mean, i wouldn't do that. and i wouldn't care if you did that.
    nonrealistic.
    love you


  • MerelyMadness
    January 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    No way! I've seen this on youtube before. To be honest, it scared the hell out of me. Then again, I hadn't really been seriously writing poetry at that time. Oh well, a great, if somewhat disturbing write, definitely deserving of all of those 5 gold trophies(and the silvers and hm's too, of course).


  • Dark Whispers
    November 22, 2007

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    wow, that was a wonderful poem and you have a great voice, but wheres your face? any whay theres just one problem I have There are just to many damn drips in this poem, other than that it was a great poem


  • Zerstort
    November 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    (I read this once before? No wonder it looked familiar....)

    I think I like it better with the audio....it's always nice to hear how the author would read it...



    Aden


  • Never Fall in Love
    October 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    woah. That was absolutely horrific to read and I can't say that I'm surprised at the amount of trophies you got but you definately deserved it. amazing.

    Never ♥

  • Zerstort
    October 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I particularly like the parts with "Drip". It made your piece longer than it actually is--and that's a good thing.

    Aden Recreated


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    October 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh my congrats on all the trophys it is a wonderful write this is my favorite poart and good luck in the contest
    Your breathing picks up
    You try to stand
    But you find you are tied down
    By hands and ankles

  • ogre1971
    October 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    confused!

    Pretty weird shit! It kind of has something to it. Like a moral to the story, but scary one can come up with such imagery.


  • Hebz
    September 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant

    What a revenge... U remind me of the movie "Joy Ride"
    The whole movie was made out of a small joke...

    "I was just kidding"

    Gosh, I was so afraid when reading it, lol

    I like the whole idea, the whole piece, the whole story, this's completely awesome

    Thnx for entering & Best of Luck

    GloriousGift
    Heba


  • crimsondew
    September 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    That is the piece of torture I have read till now...( can see that buy the number of trophies you won, many agree with me...But the poor girl went through a lot physically as did the boy mentally, nice comparison. thought it made me shiver reading the girl bound and all. i so hope and pray that nobody ever goes through that!


  • xx-shatteredsoul-xx
    September 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely love this!!! it's extremely drawing and i couldn't turn away from it; however, i think you're a little too experienced for my contest. You've won a lit already and i think it's time to let others shine. Ameazingly written though!!


  • SKyCriEsOUt-InVAiN
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Love it!

    Omg! it awesome, i like the whole "I was just Kidding"

  • pruedence
    September 17, 2007

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    This is amazingly GREAT! I enjoyed it, although I do not like torture and things of that sort. ITs the magic behind each word that leads to the great ending..very witty and smart I must say. Now I will try to enter your contest...hope I can do as well, thanks for sharing


  • untitled.
    September 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Delightfully twisted, and just plain satisfying, XD. I couldn't stop myself from smirking throughout nearly the entire piece. The great thing about this poem is that it made me feel the emotions from both parties: the intense horror and anticipation of the bound girl, and the ever-peaking need for revenge of our 'hero'. Well, I randomly have to leave, so I'll definitely come back and comment. Sorry,

    ~F.

  • Acidanthra
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Just a quick comment to all, I have been rather sick lately with fever and all, so I am going to give this judging only a couple of days, to see if my mind can get back to focus. I want to be able to enjoy each and every entry in this contest. It is very important to me.So, whatever you do, don't remove it, I will hand out awards... Thanks, Acidanthra


  • Joy.To.The.World
    September 4, 2007

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    omg this was amazing i can totally see how much anger this was i loved the entry thank you for entering

  • jamesmike99
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    holy...i couldn't look away
    wow
    i love this poem...and yes its kinda creepy but i love it
    i love the "i was just kidding" part
    it makes it so intense
    GREAT write and congrats on all the trophies...you deserved them


  • Game Master
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    . . . . I love it, kinda creepy but I love it. I hope that was just a poem and not real because if it was *backs away slowly* Lol. I thought it was, at first, going to be a depressing thing but now I think that you're insane in a good way . . . . . does that make since? I love it don't get me wrong but wooooooow talk about emotion, nicly done and good luck my friend


  • penman gold member
    August 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    Oh my Shakun. This is incredible. You outdid yourself with this one. Such a brilliance piece. And so may trophies that are well deserved.


  • Para-Dressage
    August 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    to be honest this poem creeps me out just a little,in a good kind of way i think :S but nicely written the whole atmosphere and tension was set up really well thnak yo ufor entering.


  • EverxEnding silver member
    July 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hah! This is brilliance beyond brilliance.
    I loved and hung on every word.
    You deserve all the trophies you've been awarded.

    "I was just kidding"

    That is amazing. Brilliant.


  • fallenstar588
    July 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very nice, the imagery was amazing. thank you for entering.


  • Karen Layne
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    that's awful! that's like. one of teh creepy crime novels I read so much of! well done for the contest...beyond that...you scare me...a lot


  • GlowstickOfLove
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is soo good!!! I love this!!!!!!

    I mean it sense...I can see it!

    Good imagery!!


    totally love this poemage!!! :]

    ♥--T.R;


  • lyrical-rebel
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Woof!!! creepy stuff man... remind me to never kid around with u..! heheheh..!!
    at first i thot i was gonna end up readin somethin about a whiney kid who's crush wasn't givin him the time of day.... but as i read on i realized that u had instilled a perfect settin for the rest of the tale... i must admite the excessive useage of drip got a lil distractin.. n a tad bit annoyin...
    Other than that i liked it all... u mite wanna use a few more descriptive words to really make the reader see n feel the fear, instead of jus sayin u saw fear...
    Good job!! i can see why u won all those..!!
    A truly dark write..!! Ruu!


  • rub mah belleh
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely brilliant. The title makes you curious, the beginning of the poem leads you on to it being a romantic, erotic, poem, and then there is a twisted and sinister turn of events. It kept me on my toes the entire time. I love it.

    ^_^

  • Saraisha
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gosh. What a twist. I don't even know what I was expecting when I clicked on this poem, but it's astounding. The ending is perfect, and, I think, the most powerful part of the poem. Great write.


  • adarkling
    July 18, 2007

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    Wow I don't usually like the dark side of poetry but this was twisted and brilliant. A really good piece of art. Well done!


  • grapefruite
    July 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    amazing!

    the way you kept the attention of the reader was great. the way you added "drip" slowed it down and added suspense. great job!


  • okadadokie
    July 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa I love this. So wicked and twisted. Coniving and evil. Such a powerful write. Thanks for the write. Luck be to you.

    ~Oka/KC

  • Riftkin gold member
    June 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A great story is told here. I liked it from the beginning to the twisted end, for the ending is not what one would have thought. I am sure she will think twice from now on, about kidding someone.


  • Wulfareika
    June 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!!! Such great revenge and fear! I loved this part;

    "You should cry more
    Your tears will
    Wash away that
    Mask you hide behind"

    and the ending. How she teased you with something you wanted and then said "Only kidding", then basically done the same back, except teaching her a very, very big lesson....extremely powerful write, well done!


  • Rainy Days
    June 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    You left me with my jaw open! What a crazy poem! I loved the ending.
    I start to walk away
    You stand, legs shaking
    And ask me
    Dare you ask me

    Why? Why am I letting you go?

    I turn
    In your eyes
    I see this moment will torture you

    Forever

    And ever

    With a wicked smile I speak

    "I was just kidding."
    Awesome.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    June 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh that ending what a fucking comeback... That is damn right. I didn't see that one coming, but I don't blame you, aka the person who this happened to, for doing this... Serves someone right for taunting someone like that. At least he wasn't just raping her or something, he was teaching her a lesson, frightening her and using different methods than expected to scare her and make her see who she truly is/was.


  • CherylAnn
    June 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    This is just deliciously fantastic.I was so involved in the write that I was actually watching it take place in my mind.As great as watching a movie.You have a very awesome talent in this kind of write.The pen gave a great story line and the ending was awesome as I thought you were gonna kill her...Again this is Brilliantly Fantastic...
    Blessings
    ~Cheryl~


  • Lie 2 Me Once Again
    June 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    WOW
    I absolutely loved this
    Great write! Thanks for entering!


  • AshesFromFire
    June 18, 2007

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    OHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! That was one seirously kick ass poem! That was awsome! BRAVO!!!!! Very much BRAVO!!!


  • SoftlyScreaming
    June 12, 2007

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    thats whats up.. you should read mine, its called Killing is Fun.. and i think you agree that it is.. i love the twist you added at the end, but i could kind of see it coming.. dont get me wrong, i loved this poem, it's just that you could tell what was going to happen.. it was amazing though, it had me off of the edge of my seat incase there was something else to have happened.. good luck in the contest


  • Forlorn Dreams
    June 11, 2007

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    WOW. . . .

    when i saw how long this poem was, i was afraid to read it because i thought it would take to long. but im glad i read it. that was AMAZING. i love the way drip was so contionous and it made the suspence even better. i love the last line and how in the poem you really taught her a lesson. im almost speechless. i was so caught up in your poem, my heart was beating fast and i couldnt wait to know what would happen. i dont know how else to say it but this poem was BRILLANT. this is certainly one of the bes poems ive ever read, no lie. (i wouldnt lie about that.) great job thankyou for entering and the best of luck to you in my contest.
    Cookie


  • Jasmine Minx
    June 11, 2007

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    HOLY SHIT!!!!! wow you are a great poet i was caught up in it. seriously remind me never to get you mad at me kage. you are my friend and i hope to learn to write like you.

    Alianne Nightseer Avaritia


  • takenfromgrace
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow that is very very good. So much insanity to it.It's wounderful how you put those sences in it. YOu nake them so real. It's a wounderful write.


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ohhh, that was good, that was good, i like this peom, lol, it wasa strong way to make a point, lol, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • bloved
    June 10, 2007

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    wow wickedly weird but still awesome...I LOVE the ending...very clever...plus i love the drip affect of the blood. Your talent never cease to amaze me

    Great job

    Laters


  • Frances Nightengale
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    I don't know, but this is prolly the best porm I've ever read. That was the perfect ending. I don't think this could be any better. And the fact that you left something out drives me mad, I need to know!!!!


  • joleahe
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    OMG!!! I love this poem! great imagery!


  • Porcelain Princess
    June 10, 2007

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    Wow. I usually don't take the time to read long poems, but this was amazing. Great work, I'm impressed. I love it.

  • specialbabygirl
    June 10, 2007
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    this is great

    its great, it freaky but really cool. i like it. really i do.

  • penman gold member
    June 10, 2007
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    Whew!

    Oh my what thoughts for a Sunday afternoo. Very creative and love the ending. Hope this is not your idea of a fun date.


    • The Cube
      June 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      sounds like a good and cheap date to me! I acctually left a part out of it too...oh well, thaks for the comment!


  • Ignis Corpus
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hahaha i loved it i liked the last part where you go i wasnt gonna kill you i was just kidding, i hate it when people tease you and you dont get them... damn fuckers. i hope, you really didnt try this

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