Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

daydreaming

Missing image

daydreaming

dreaming out my window glass
wondering how I came to be
a simple girl, a lonely lass
gazing outward toward the sea

wondering how I came to be  
and life is not as it would seem
gazing outward toward the sea
long forgot that princess dream

and life is not as it would seem
waiting for each day to pass
long forgot that princess dream
as sand falls through the hourglass

waiting for each day to pass
a simple girl, a lonly lass

as sand falls through the hourglass
dreaming out my window glass

 

 

Author notes

Pantoum
The Pantoum is a simple form yet more difficult to compose than the sestina. It is far more repetitive, for its defining rules are ABAB stanzas of four lines each, and the second and fourth lines of one stanza become the first and third of the net. It can be any number of stanzas long, but the ending line must be the same as the first. The result is a poem that takes two steps forward and one step back the entire way through, finally ending on the same note it started.

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • PatheticKt
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i love this!!! today i just found out about a pantoum and thought of searching it which is this! and this pantoum's really wonderful! i just submitted my first pantoum but it's really boring and can never beat the greatness of this pantoum! anyway, yeah, that's all, till here, see ya! ^_^


  • Whoochi gold member
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Darling....

    This truly touches my soul...you had me here, pulling and tugging on my heartstrings...>>"long forgot that princess dream" And such vivid imagery, could see the lovely, lonely girl looking out her window...awwww well done...DOLLFACE ...Again, always teaching me, this is a magnificent form, a Pantoum....very good..


  • Desire gold member
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!!

    Love this one and also that Form You used!!
    Beautiful tale You told
    Magnificent!!
    Form Queen
    Thank You for sharing this and You took me
    where I needed to go

    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • PerVirtuous
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is exceptional writing. The repetition was handled perfectly. This speaks with a sublime wisdom. Very, very impressive. Three bunnies!


  • Rele anmwe
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a master piece of work. I love the flow, you write it so neatly. I truly love it. I think I should start studying the forms and start writing like you. Keep up the marvelous work and thank you for sharing. You have a faboulous day


  • blueyez
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I so love this and it inspires me to try this form You are amazing!!!!! It was like a wonderful fairy tale written within a poem with wonderful rhyme, rhythm, and meter! perfecto!!!!!


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sis, this is a pretty and whimsical penning, filled with lovely imageries. L14, I think L3 should be there instead, to achieve perfect form It doesnt rhyme with the rest of that stanza and looks odd to my eye. Otherwise this is yet another excellent piece of poetry. I love pantoums & I love you


  • azure85 gold member
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful, you wrote such a delicate pantoum. I love the way it repeats in certain ways, like a romantic slow dance with lines. Just wonderful, good luck in the contest!


  • bedovich
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    nicee this is so wll done the form the content the theme yayyy


  • Swan song gold member
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent form rhyme and meter. This poem is very refelctive. Alot of times your poetry is more adventourous and fantasy and or course love and erotic
    but this one is differnt. I can hear the gears of your mind churning. It is excellent!!!

1 - 10 of 10