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With Candlelight

With Candlelight

Burn little flame
brighter slowly
you have a whole candle to explore
lots of time and
thousands of dances to flicker
perform for pleasure
your Yellow Samba
perform for my pleasure
The Shadow Waltz across the walls
share yourself with mirrors and glass
and you don't have to ask
if I love you
I do

Author notes


Contest the arc-un-ciel rounds. auditions. by cirque du soleil - b i l l p o e t

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 106     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • Sounds-Like-This
    1 day ago
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is good. The imagery is there, but it really doesnt have a flow. I liked the way you used the candle to help paint your image, and how you extended the use of imagery from more than one object. You have won many trophies with this poem, so I hope you dont mind if I give other poems a chance. That doesnt mean you cant win, this is very good, and if it is the best, I will award you the gold.


  • Beautiful-N-Broken gold member
    October 24

    Edit | Reply
    Great write. I loved it from start to finish. Thank you so much for entering and giving me the chance to read this. Good luck in the contest hun! Thanks again for entering!


  • Dryad Enya
    October 24
    Edit | Reply
    you've won so much wit something so small. Like a candle you through greatness outwards, though small and time is short you make no waste of any of it.


  • darlee77 gold member
    October 21
    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful. Smooth, elegant write with a lovely message. Good luck. God bless/


  • Suffer-in-silence
    October 21
    Edit | Reply
    i loved it
    it was very cute
    -rose

  • Dryad Enya
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    I think the amount of trophies won by this piece could never begin to say how incredable it truely is. Agree? Good. Let's start with the simplisity of the piece, it's deliacte ernest and that it seems to be bolder than most long winded complex peices. Every time a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies. Your true to the word of your poem and I feel intitled to take my hat of to you.
    Best of luck in the contest,
    Keep writting,
    Gorecki


  • Shadow Anonymised gold member
    August 22

    Edit | Reply
    thanks for the great entry. i really like the imagery youve used such as the yellow samba, but i'm not so keen on the length. it is too short for me.

    thanks again and good luck.


  • kylierenea
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the imagery you used in this poem and I like the layout of it. It made the read go a little smoother and quicker. Great poem, keep up the good work. Thanks for entering my contest


  • Antebellum
    July 19
    Edit | Reply
    amazing imagery.
    thanks for entering,
    good luck.


  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    Good imagery.

    My favorite lines were:

    Burn little flame
    brighter slowly
    you have a whole candle to explore
    lots of time and
    thousands of dances to flicker

    Those lines were fantastic

    Overall score: 7/10

    Thanks for entering.



  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    July 15
    Edit | Reply

    Wow.


  • Cyanide Dreams
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the way you used candlelight. I didn't expect the end. What a great story told. I liked the imagery you used and the personification used. Good job, and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


  • The Fun House silver member
    June 27
    Edit | Reply
    I like the way you've used the candle metaphorically, it has a nice warm image and sentiment


  • Samplette gold member
    June 4

    Edit | Reply
    A really cute poetic story. I see you are proud of it and it has earned many trophies. Congratulations.
    Sam


  • jacbgd2 gold member
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!  BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!! I truly enjoyed this read. not a lot of rhyming and void of puncts. My favorite type of poem!!!!! My favorite part:
    "you have a whole candle to explore"
    That part says it all for me. Your work is great!!!!!


  • charmander13
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    Hi, this is truly an amazing write, and I love this part,

    "The Shadow Waltz across the walls
    share yourself with mirrors and glass
    and you don't have to ask
    if I love you
    I do"

    Thanks for explaining... lol I'd have thought it was about a romantic love (or something to that extent) too... It's great that you're so appreciative and thankful for the life you have. This is such an inspiration.


    Thank you so much for your entry and all the best to you!



    ♥ Char



  • black hearted rebel
    May 29
    Edit | Reply
    wow!THIS WAS AMAZING!


  • DramaQueen469 gold member
    May 29

    Edit | Reply

    Peer Pressure :)

    Beautifully written, with stunning imagery; a wonderful poem.
    Thankyou for sharing, and best of luck in the contest!

    Maria


  • Velvet Rose Petals
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. It wasn't quite what I was looking for, but I like it. I could relate, becayse I've been dancing all my life. Beautifully Penned.
    Rose

  • Mercury Rising
    May 21

    Edit | Reply
    A very creative personification and an excellent metaphorical piece. Congratulations on all the shiny trophies, and best of luck in my contest.


  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    first i must say congrats on all the trophies. second i cant pick a part i like best. thank you for entering and good luck int he contest


  • HereComesTheSun
    May 11
    Edit | Reply
    i love the analogy that you put into place in this piece how you did a stunning job with word choice and way you set up the poem. thanks for entering


  • PaperChainHearts
    May 10

    Edit | Reply
    Hey, this is a brilliant poem, but not what I'm looking for (dirty pretty)

    Sorryy, but thank you for entering anyway


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    A most beautiful taste of romance and love flows within this ..
    loved it
    thank you and best wishes
    Julie


  • xxNickxx
    April 21
    Edit | Reply
    excellent use of personification. definently one of my favorites


  • xxFallen Dreamsxx
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    wow lots of trophies here..
    i like how you perceived this option...

    its a beautiful write, thank you for entering and good luck


  • MysteriousWhisper
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    this is very pretty and has so many different takes on the candle. I really like it. I accept your offer as my grand dad! good luck in the contest!

  • HereComesTheSun
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    wow what a trophy winner once again. i enjoyed this piece and its imagery and symbolism with dances. great job and thanks for entering


  • A-Solitary-Fantasy
    April 10
    Edit | Reply
    great imagery! i can see the flame dancing! splendid


  • AngelBellerose gold member
    April 4

    Edit | Reply
    I love the way you flicker and shine upon my face.. I would love to have you as my darling dear, that I will call uncle thank you honey for entering Hugs Angel♥


  • perfectsunset gold member
    April 3

    Edit | Reply
    Wow what a little masterpiece
    you have crafted here.
    This was fabulous!

    & congrats on the many well-deserved
    trophies awarded.

    Thanks for entering & best of luck


  • Oh.My.Juliet
    April 2
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful<3 Congrats on all the tophies


  • Captain Jenny
    March 27
    Edit | Reply
    A very nice write. Very beautiful. Thanks for entering


  • tears.of.silence
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    I love the part about the Yellow Samba. Excellent work. This poem is just beautiful. Thanks for entering the contest and the best of luck to you. Kahy


  • Kiss the girl--x
    March 23

    Edit | Reply
    'The Shadow Waltz across the walls
    share yourself with mirrors and glass
    and you don't have to ask
    if I love you
    I do'

    i love that ending, its amazing, and just hits you square in the chest.

    thanks for entering

    ♥


  • Fulabeans
    March 7

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Pancakes!

    the flow of this is spot on! I loved t all the way through. I love the how you incoperated the dances with the candle flame. Brilliant!

    well done for sure!

    great job, and thanks for entering,
    -Dusty-


  • Everlasting Ellen
    March 6
    Edit | Reply
    An interesting write, I never would have talked about a candle in this way, to me candles are more of a symbol; one of hope, and light, and strength, and prayer. So this really surprised me, and I like it Great poetic flow and also great word choice. Lovely and thank you.

  • Rowan gold member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    I'm not sure whether the candle reflects marriage proprosals as a metaphor, but regardless, this is an interesting write. Personalizing the candlelight works. Thanks so much for entering.


  • Lady Michaella
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    oo! this is excellent.. very unique.. i love the whole 'flame' dance thing.. this just beautiful.. nice personification

    Thanks for entering my contest,
    and best of luck!

    Your judge,
    -Lemon Bee-


  • Salty Hibiscus gold member
    February 19
    Edit | Reply
    very nice write. thank you for sharing.


  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... That's an incredible write. It's the last couple of lines that make the poem however.
    Such sentiment in so few words.

    A truly remarkable write..one that many could not carry off with so few words...


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    February 4

    Edit | Reply
    I think this holds the record for the number of times a single poem has been entered in contests - I see a good sprinkling of trophies and HMs too. I can see why. The whole poem is a very lovely and subtle extended metaphor. My only criticism is that I think that "yellow samba" and "the shadow waltz" would have been better lower case - they stand out a little too much (yes, even though I get the reference to Pe'z, and possibly to 42nd Street or "Gold Diggers of 1933").


  • Sunkissed xo
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    Simple & beautiful. Lovely imagery too
    Well done on all the trophies, and thanks for entering my contest!


  • TwilightDazzles
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. I love the imagery and your word choice. Thanks for following the rules and for entering. Best wishes


  • ladyhelenaofsorrows
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    The imagery in this is just lovely, thank you for entering! We do need your username and option in the AN, and I personally would put a comma between brighter and slowly in the second/third line, but that's about it. Great write!


  • theroseofbattle
    December 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is a great piece. thanks very much for your entry.


  • PaintedParisPassion
    December 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    my my my congrats on the numerous trophies. this is a great piece. thanks for entering and good luck. keep writing.

    peace and looove
    b


  • ourgirlFriday
    December 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    So I'm not the only one impressed by this little bit of verse, from evidence of all the shinies. I love the dancing metaphors - quite cute, actually. Lovely! Best of luck in the contest!


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aw...this is beautiful ~ congrats on all the trophies you won

    thanx for linking me to this poem. a pleasurable read


  • Lavender Butterfly silver member
    November 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is truly beautiful and so touching... x

  • PoetryPuppy
    October 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for your lovely poem, love Kiarna


  • lindaburns gold member
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Read the rules


    What a lovely display of trophies you have here! A gold, a silver, a bronze, and nine honorables. Go you.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a nice little read for me thank you muhly for taking the time to enter my contest best wishes and much luck be well


  • Draig aine gold member
    October 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    cool

    thumbs up loved the imagery

  • Writing0Freedom
    September 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this! I reallly like how you used my quote and tied it in so beautifully. It was concise but the imagery was brilliantly done. This is a really strong and vivid piece of work! I love the way you use the dances and fire to convey this.
    Thank you for entering!
    WritingFree


  • Hello...No.One.Home silver member
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, I love the imaginary used in this.

    A wonderful write and I wish you all the best in the contest.

    Rose

  • Poemdancer
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very sweet and descriptive, grewat imagery. Excellent write...Thank you for entering my contest! My favorite line is 'The Shadow Waltz across the walls' very beautiful and powerful line!


  • just weak hands
    August 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh very romantic indeed, but how does this express happiness ? or how you will jump for joy ? do you mean that having a romantic evening with candle light makes you jump with joy ? i really like the poem, i'm just a bit iffy on whether this displays jumping for joy.

    i can see that many people obviously enjoyed and appreciated your poem, and i am one of them :] i'm just not sure if this fits my contest as well as others may have ! i still love it ! thanks for entering !

  • ichigosama
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    ichigosama

    awww, it's beautiful. a candle lit dinner or a wedding candle shared, it sounds very romantic. with candlelight is the perfect title for the poem. thanks for entering!!!!


  • BellaD
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have some intriguing images in this piece. For example, thousands of dances to flicker
    perform for pleasure
    your Yellow Samba
    Very nicely done and thank you for entering my contest.


  • Mirthryl
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Outstanding "little flame...you have a whole candle to explore." Nice description of dances, and "shadow waltz across the walls/share yourself with mirrors and glass." Enjoyable write.


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    awww

    this is pretty, as you show your love how to romance the old fashioned way, thank you for this entry...good luck
    Lin


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    July 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love how this looks on the page, and I think my favorite line is "share yourself with mirrors and glass." What an excellent visual that provides the reader.

    This piece is fresh and unique and I liked it very much. Well done poet and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela


  • Amera gold member
    July 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely! The image of motion and warmth of the flame is delightful. Good luck in our contest.

    Love,
    Amera


  • GypsyEyes
    July 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really enjoyed this poem! great job! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox

  • StroonsGreen
    June 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "The Shadow Waltz across the walls
    share yourself with mirrors and glass"
    What does that line mean??
    I think this poem would be a more interesting if he were an arsenist or something!
    At the beginning I didn't suspect he loved the flame. It was a little bit short to make your point, but at least this is the most relevant I've read so far lol. Thank you for entering.


  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    June 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow i like this poem is insanely well written i liked it when you said "The Shadow Waltz across the walls
    share yourself with mirrors and glass" thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck
    ..<3..
    Shelly


  • Blooming Poet
    June 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I do not get it, another one of your poems with a bigiillion comments and trophies, makes me want to go cry in the corner


  • pattyann4500
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You've won many trophies with this simple, sweet poem. I enjoyed it very much and would like to thank you for placing it in my contest as well. Patrici


  • borrowing.moonlight gold member
    June 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thats really pretty
    congrats on your numerous trophies and thank you for entering in my contest. good luck


  • 2lullabyhaven
    May 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, dancing under candle light; all good. thanks for your entry and good lucklol


  • deadheartedkitty
    April 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    this is a wonderful write, but i see you have won alot with it, so unfortunatly i am going to give someone else a chance....but thank you for the entry...

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    April 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck, Josie


  • creationsfromheart
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this as I love candles and always have them burning the smells the calmness of the fire the flame flickering there is just a beauty of there own in them that makes us feel I always feel in a calm moon as my candles burn! I buy them so much I finally paid to get a wholesale bussiness number to save money haha just teasing howevver I do order them now through wholesale a 100 at a time. lol Good luck in the contest.


  • Ms Raneika
    March 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful just simply beautiful thanks for entering my contest much love, Raneika


  • PurpleCrocus
    March 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I like how you bring many concepts into this. Light, several types of dances, reflection, shadow. Glorious.


  • RyanosaurusWrecks
    March 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ive read this six times, and understood it six different ways each time..the part with the most impact, to me,

    you have a whole candle to explore

    that is a great line
    yuo seem to have the knack to bring the reader images along with your words, without the use of graphics and unness. backrounds
    well written, and congrats on your previous trophies


  • V.Violet
    March 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The candle makes me think it's symbolic of life or something like that, or that the narrartor is a bit on the odd side. Either way, I wish you luck.


  • girl shaman
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hm love for a candle? thats differant lol
    i see its a bit simple but thats alright.
    i really dont see any spelling or grammer errors so i dont know what to tell you other then maybe you should think about left aligning it b/c its a bit short to be centered.
    trust me i used to go crazy and center all my poems too but you get a better feel at the poem when its in alignment with each other

    thank you for entering!!


  • LunaAmara
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    entering the same poem you won with before in my contest? well, my my you must be confident
    you already know how much i like this poem


  • leander Moderators member
    February 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The way you've ended this poem is stunning. Simplicity at it best, yet very profound as well!

    You've created a sweet and tender touch within these words. Well done!

    I wish you the very best!
    Leander


  • over the rainbow--x
    February 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really like the final lines,
    you don't have to ask if i love you, i do.
    beautiful.

    thanks for entering [=
    this was amazing [=
    ♥


  • LunaAmara
    January 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    BEAUTIFUL

    i have never given that much thought to a candle, but this is simply beautiful


  • q-pid
    January 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is one increadible write... I'm not so sure it fits the prompt though... still I really enjoyed this!!!

    Great write!!!

    /q-pid/


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    January 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    such a great piece!!! my favorite lines are: The Shadow Waltz across the walls share yourself with mirrors and glass and you don't have to ask if I love you thank you so much for entering this contest! We wish you all the best.

  • xTomorrowx
    December 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very beautifully written poem, I'm sure absolutely everything I could say about it has been said in at least 1 of the comments below lol
    You wrote this beautifully, a wonderful write, thanks very much for entering my contest and good luck! =)


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was so very sweet and romantic. I love the way you got the dance into it, what a beautiful metaphor for love. I know how it feels to burn with a passion and how beautiful it is. It's like a dance in a way, the feelings are bounced back and forth, but never shall they stop.


  • Veeolin
    November 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Simple but elegantly written.


  • adsaige
    November 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Judged

    Ah, a wonderfully magnificent write provided with sensual imagery. Thank you for entering and good luck.

  • gochristyromano
    November 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very nice. I love the tone, the metaphors and everything work really well, short and sweet. Great write, and good luck in the contest!


  • MzDimeDivia
    October 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Impressive

    very nice short but nice

  • zorman32
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Nice Write

    It's a very nice poem to be sure, one of self discovery, illumination of personal surroundings, examinations of sorts. Good luck in the contest. Seems to be a third party view of the topic, very interesting approach.


  • ixtli
    October 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, simple and elegeant. You've made the finals list! Good luck!


  • HeavenScent4U
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh my goodness, this is beautifully done candles are so full of mystery and splender best of luck in the contest. be well and be blessed


  • warrior-eagle
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm. This is a good poem and it does remind me of classical music.Mm. I couldnt have written anything like this.This is sweet and interesting too.Beautiful.

  • Virgoan
    September 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is my first time to read this poem. I will be re-reading all the entries like I usually do.

    Initial score = 8.8

    Thanks for sharing and keep on writing my friend.

    VIRGOAN


  • alexandrathegreat
    August 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow you sure entered this in a lot of contest, feeling lucky well I don't much like that concept though I have no rules against it it still doesn't seem fair, I liked the poem on the other hand. Very symbolic.


  • Plastic Dreams
    July 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply


    this is exactly what I've been looking for. enjoyed thoroughly.

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    July 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully spoken Bill, in every little word of magical substance, Josephine

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