There was a time when I wanted to surround myself with gray.
When I wanted to breathe in misery,
and exhale waste...
a visible toxic radius.
When I was a Little girl
I poked at the thin black glaze
that coated the bottom of my mothers ash trays.
Now I can feel each breath
coating the insides of my lungs
like a black ocean,
rising,
and retreating.
Because the numbness that follows
brings precious brief relief.
But the taste in my mouth becomes thicker
and the stench of my clothes after a long night of drinking
stayes with me for days,
through the washer,
and under perfume.
From the tip to the filter
each drag exorcising the squalor of my soul.
Each clean Ivory puff,
manifested from an onyx void.
Author notes
You know i dont mention the real obvious reasons that smoking is stupid cus everyone knows them, i guess everyone's expirience with it diffrent.
A contest entry
- SMOKING KILLS by Haunted-Memory.
4500 points, ended June 18, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
is everything i write too obtuse?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i hate smokers... my grandmother used to smoke as did her second husband. her second husband had lost his wife to cancer... guess what? she smoked. well he was in the hospital and had to get a quadruple bypass. they both quit smoking after that. great job.
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Well done. I really enjoyed this poem, the beginning was my favorite part. Squalor is one of my favorite words, I enjoyed this.
Nice Work
Creatress -
Think these kind of personal bits of memories make this poem stand out - sentiments well expressed in these lines - so sad that parents force on thier kids this kind of abuse - and it is abuse making them breathe in toxins that can later harm their bodies.
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Excellent
Another excellent entry into my contest. This is yet another one that brings home yet a different message to me. Damn even though i wash my clothes and bath covering myself in sweet deoderant sprays my breath must smell like an ashtray along with my clothes. Thanks for this entry wishing you the best of luck in my contest Brian. -
Inspirational!!!
Fire-Pistil, that was so well-written. I lost my mom nineteen years ago to heart disease, and my step-mom to emphysema just a few years ago. I made a vow that I would never smoke, and I haven't. This is such a magnificent piece. The message is so clear, and so important to pass along. Smoking is just stupid. I could not agree more with that statement. Thank you for sharing such an inspirational post. I truly hope that your poem will make a difference in many lives in the years to come. Bravo to you! I hope that I see this poem in every hospital someday. It is very powerful!
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