Two lovers star favoured rather than crossed
Each to the other the sun and the moon
Love with a heat to melt the hardest frost
Passion to make the dawn come all too soon
Firmest touch coupled with the gentlest glance
Proof of sweet amour upon soft lips pressed
Pledging undying troth both grasp the chance
Consorts at last to be forever blessed
Two hearts each beating in time with its mate
Two souls sharing the same time the same space
Cares of the world left to find their own fate
All spheres aligned to love’s radiant face
Lovers held in each others arms at last
The spark of love in gentle hands held fast
Author notes
I decided to make My picture challenge poem an English (Shakespearian) Sonnet in iambic pentameter.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is really nice but I understand prepositions are soft sounding so isn’t the iamb is broken in L2 and L5 because the first word is a one syllable word followed by the preposition?
Blessings, extasy
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Thanks extasy for the comment.
I think that you are referring to L2 and L6 (not 5).
Although strictly speaking, iambic pentameter refers to five iambs in a row, in practice, poets vary their iambic pentameter a great deal, while maintaining the iamb as the most common foot. There are some conventions to these variations, however; iambic pentameter must always contain only five feet, and the second foot is almost always an iamb. The first foot, on the other hand, is the most likely to change (by the use of rhythmic inversion, which reverses the order of unstress and stress in the foot). For example the first line of Richard III begins with an inversion:
Now is the winter of our discontent
Thanks again,
Tatt
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This is beautiful
I am speechless
you have left me wanting more more more.
Amazing beauty and sensuality in this piece.
I give you a 10 -
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Sorry for the delay in responding, I was away and then missed it!
Thanks a lot for your very kind comment.
Tatt
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9
All I can say is that your piece is "BEAUTIFUL".....
The flow, the imagery, the simplicity of this piece makes it all the more beautiful.....
It is short yet, carries a big message that touched this reader's heart. Excellent write!
I thank you for sharing with me on this site.....
Your friend in Pen,
AngelicMistress...Tanya
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Thank you Tanya for your comment (sorry about the delay in responding).
It was a new departure for me, but I am sure that I will be writing more sonnets.
Tatt
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Without the picture the sonnet is sensual and full of love. But it does not feel terribly erotic. I like it but it just doesn't have enough teeth in it. Sorry. Peace & Love, Tom B.
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Don't be sorry
This was a sensual and loving piece, erotic with teeth will come later
(Just had a flashback to a scene in "Wicked City" for any anime fans. Not THAT sort of erotic with teeth!!!)
Tatt
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Awesome Write
This is an awesome poem my friend. I loved this. Very sensual indeed. Good luck in the challenge.
Keep writing
Countrybabe
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Thanks a lot for the comment countrybabe
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This is a beautiful sonnet... I can never write one myself but I do enjoy them when they are done as well as yours. good luck to you and your team mates.
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Thanks
Now, if only the majority of My team mates would write something ...
Tatt
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I have never written a sonnet myself and probably couldn't to save my life but besides that, this is just gorgeous. very sensual and romantic. much emotion and love written across the page, you do have a flare for this. you could have written more and kept my attention i believe my favorite part of this would have been the third stanza. i am glad we are on the same team although i do have a lot to live up to after reading this
be well and be blessed
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Thank you very much for the comment.
I'm glad you are on my team too!
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forgot the claps... sorry
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Thanks for the comment slipperssun,
I am sure that you could do a sonnet, it not as complicated as some of the forms I know you have done
Tatt
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This is a fantastic write... i give you full credit for the sonnet. i can't do them... the message behind the words of a love so true is amazing also... well done
cheers
Jen -
This is one heck of a beautiful write. I love the form, wrote that once myself....with emphasis on ONCE
This is definately what I was looking for from this challenge, great job!
**Master Ktulu**
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Thanks a lot Master Ktulu for your comment.
This is the first sonnet that I have written. I felt that if I was going to go subtle and sensual, then a sonnet was appropriate (I love trying out new forms )
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Well crud, you're putting us hard-corians to shame here. This is wonderfully written and very romantic. Excellent job and good luck in the challenge.
Storm -
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Thank you very much for your comment Storm Goddess,
I love hardcore, but also enjoy a bit of sensuality and subtlety every now and then
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What a wonderful write Master
My favourite would definitely be the first two lines:
"Two lovers star favoured rather than crossed
Each to the other the sun and the moon"
The entire write was not only sensual, but romantic and exceptionally well penned
Well done!
Forever in Your service,
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And it rhymed!
I did try and slip in some oblique references to the Bard's work, contrasting these lovers to his star-crossed ones ...
By the way, it is you that makes Me feel sensual and romantic, so thank you for being Mine and thank you for being My inspiration.
Your Loving Master -
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lmao! Yep - it rhymed so it IS a poem
i did notice the comparisons and perhaps that's why i enjoyed those lines the most ('tis my soppy side coming out )
Thank You for the wonderful praise Master - it means the world to me ...
Forever in Your service,
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