Memorised by this fading snow
that treasures my taunted tears,
the whispers gone since long ago
are returning past all those years.
My frozen tears are melting in the flame
you burnt to the eternity that never came.
My body now melting for tomorrow
that is waiting for me in the rain;
always too far for me to even borrow
and now too close for me to attain.
© Jay H.
June 10, 2007
Author notes
This is the first poem I've written this month thanks to the inspiration lag I've been having these days. I'm glad I got even this written...
This is mainly about loosing something or loosing you to the world and then finding a path that you're not too sure you want to take out of the loss. Again, it can be understood in many different ways so it's up to the reader what kind of a story it tells.
------------------------------------------------------
Entry in the contest:
"10 Lines - Picture inspired" by -LilacThOughts-
A contest entry
- 10 Lines - Picture Inspired by -LilacThOughts-.
425 points, ended June 10, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think - be as bold as you can; I don't break.
Comments
-
ten lines and some imagery in the fireplace and melting
the message of distance to the desired place and impossiblility is placed at the end as the conclusion...an interesting structure...PK
-
-
I'm glad you find the structure interesting. I like playing with them and changing the athmosphere time to time. This was a quick write from me so I'm happy about your words. Thank you for your comment; it means a lot.
-
-
I like where you took this, nice imagery
~Lilac
-
-
I'm glad you like it. Thank you for your words; they mean a lot.
-
Adding your comment:
