[tragic] babe, just.so.damn [tragic]
that all i am(to you)is a pair of
Stillettos && a painted face
and that all you crave is the
[sex.under.my.sheets.]
I [want, need, crave] love you
baby;; you're the air i breathe
but im pretty damnsure you knew that.
?Enthrall me some more boy?
throw in another
//Hello(there)[Gorgeous]//
dont you know its all
you
have to say{?} to get me
:naked and sweaty: in your //.backseat.//
[-] static (in the)phone-lines && rapid ♥beats [-]
when i spill my heart out in the toilet
through a process of
one.finger.two.fingers.
pretty hair && [bathroom.s|t|a|l|l|s]
like it should be babe;;(my finale)
we always knew id go up in flames..
(and this barrel in my mouth)
We Always Knew Id Go Out With A Bang
(i just never thought you'd be pulling the trigger)
Author notes
"Hold the 's' because I am an aint"
[.2.] [Phrases]
i used 6.
lovely contest by the way.
-[Crash.Doll]
^^first contest
Second Contest
Crash Into Me
this is my favorite Dp poem...
and i personally think it's my best so far.
♥
A contest entry
- B/r/e/a/k me down && Call me a [[.tragedy.] by Heartbeatsxfading.
300 points, ended June 21, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
is all you ever wanted?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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this is dirty, harrowing, and eye opening. amazing. very creative, i havent read a pure creative write in awhile. great work.
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The ending, like everyone here has mentioned, is brilliant. I also loved how you added your own take on punctuation throughout, sometimes twisting it to become and take form with the writing. I also like the "spilling your heart out into the toilet" line. Very original. For some reason I want to gobble up your poem bits with a little dab of cake on the side. Even if it feels unwarranted to the poem. Writing like this lives and booms throughout the network.
Personally I think your strength is in your transitions. In your personal expressions that take shape as powerful art. I envy this type of writing as I have never taken it under my wing. Very good use of language. Your rock, girl.
;
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SEE!!
ing here.
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OMG I love this... an absolutely killer piece of dirty pretty. I don't know what to say, it's just brilliant.
"pretty hair && [bathroom.s|t|a|l|l|s]
like it should be babe;;(my finale)
we always knew id go up in flames.."
~HH
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I loooove this.
Very much, babe.
you deserve the gold you got from the other contest. This is amazing. Theres not really any other words I can think of to describe this, lol.
your form was great, I loved it. you used the wordbanks to your full advantage. I love what you did with it.
pretty hair && [bathroom.s|t|a|l|l|s]
like it should be babe;;(my finale)
we always knew id go up in flames..
(and this barrel in my mouth)
We Always Knew Id Go Out With A Bang
(i just never thought you'd be pulling the trigger)
Love those lines.
Keep it up, this is amazing.
♥♥♥
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omg.
thank you babe..
if it werent for your contest it wouldnt have happened..
thank you.
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oh my god, i love this poem, can I add you to my favorites?
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I love this poem.
Especially the last lines.
Good luck
♥ Surrender ♥ -
Is this type of writing a new trend, as I've noticed it around allpoetry on occasion? As always your poetry is fun to read and carries that signature Crash Into Me touch.
Sorry for not returning the favor sooner, my darling minx.
Chat later.
love and hugs,
James
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mmmh you're yummy
hehehe.
it has become a trend but no one does it quite like us dollies.
i miss you chocolate man.
♥
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manson lyrics.
nice.
he's dating Evan Rachel Wood.
He doesn't deserve her.
oooo baby.
this is like sour candy.
It even smells that way.
♥
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[-] static (in the)phone-lines && rapid ♥beats [-]
when i spill my heart out in the toilet
through a process of
one.finger.two.fingers.
pretty hair && [bathroom.s|t|a|l|l|s]
like it should be babe;;(my finale)
we always knew id go up in flames..
(and this barrel in my mouth)
We Always Knew Id Go Out With A Bang
(i just never thought you'd be pulling the trigger)
well DAMN baby, this is just really gorgous(just like you). shit. this is raw and relatable and just...intense. love the last two lines the most. great job dolliebear!!!
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"and that all you crave is the
[sex.under.my.sheets.]
I [want, need, crave] love you
baby;; you're the air i breathe
but im pretty damnsure you knew that."
WOW. I think a lot of the girls on here can relate to that feeling. You did great at portraying it on [cyber] paper.
"when i spill my heart out in the toilet
through a process of
one.finger.two.fingers."
Damnnn...very raw and honest. And of course, I can relate to that part too. Good luck in the contest babycakes, you're incredible<3
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heheh babe;; you make me incredible.
♥
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