Playing on the coat rack
A rusty old thing
One slip, blood everywhere
A small cut, but deep
She shows me the bandage
I show her the scar
She looks fascinated
The grooves and the curves
And I admire her
The sweet baby face
It comforts me to know
That though even then
I hated myself
I was beautiful and sweet
And it makes me feel
Like maybe, just maybe
Someday
I'll look at my present self
And exchange wounds and scars
And realize
I've been lovely
All these hated years
Author notes
This is what I got out of a conversation with my inner child of about eight. Enjoy
A contest entry
- Connecting With Your Inner Child (Creative Writing Workshop) by kareneisenlord.
710 points, ended June 30, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 417 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Originality: (8/10)
Emotion: (6/10)
Poetic devices: (14/20)
Structure/flow: (7/10)
Cohesion: (8/10)
Title relating to poem: (10/10)
Personal opinion: (7/10)
Syntax: (7/10)
Diction: (6/10)
----
Total:73/100
-
Originality: (8/10)
Emotion: (6/10)
Poetic devices: (15/20)
Structure/flow: (7/10)
Cohension: (7/10)
Title relating to poem: (6/10)
Personal opinion: (6/10)
Syntax: (6/10)
Diction: (6/10)
Total: (67/100) -
All of the entries in this contest/workshop were absolutely amazing. It was a little agonizing to judge because I was moved by each and every one of them and through them, many of my own feelings and issues surfaced and found new resolution and hope. I sincerely wished that there were more than three main trophies to give out here, because they were more that were deserving. I was very inspired by each of your stories and the courage that you all show coupled with your fantastic ability to transform your hurt and suffering into hope and healing. Since you were all so good, I decided to focus on the following points for judging the winners of the trophies, much of which was emphasized originally in the contest criteria ; Following directions: (i.e. making a genuine connection, dialogue or interaction, and resolution). How it was resolved: Was I left with a sense of hope and healing? Emotional Catharsis- Did the writing bring out the readers' own feelings and reactions. (I read other readers responses, besides my own, as well). Poetic Ablility and Grammar- Important here but not the most important; was the writing grammatically correct and clear in expression, keeping it simple yet creative? It was not easy to choose, and you all received points and Honorable Mention for your new write, which was well-deserved! Thank you all for participating in this workshop contest and I know it was not an easy one. I am grateful for those of you who felt ready to take up the challenge as well as for those of you who had the wisdom to know if it wasn't right for you now.All of the entries in this contest/workshop were absolutely amazing. It was a little agonizing to judge because I was moved by each and every one of them and through them, many of my own feelings and issues surfaced and found new resolution and hope. I sincerely wished that there were more than three main trophies to give out here, because they were more that were deserving. I was very inspired by each of your stories and the courage that you all show coupled with your fantastic ability to transform your hurt and suffering into hope and healing. Since you were all so good, I decided to focus on the following points for judging the winners of the trophies, much of which was emphasized originally in the contest criteria ; Following directions: (i.e. making a genuine connection, dialogue or interaction, and resolution). How it was resolved: Was I left with a sense of hope and healing? Emotional Catharsis- Did the writing bring out the readers' own feelings and reactions. (I read other readers responses, besides my own, as well). Poetic Ablility and Grammar- Important here but not the most important; was the writing grammatically correct and clear in expression, keeping it simple yet creative? It was not easy to choose, and you all received points and Honorable Mention for your new write, which was well-deserved! Thank you all for participating in this workshop contest and I know it was not an easy one. I am grateful for those of you who felt ready to take up the challenge as well as for those of you who had the wisdom to know if it wasn't right for you now.
-
This gave me chills. I love how you connected with yourself as a child and shared with each other, her showing you the band aid and you disclosing the scar that she will still have years later. This was touchingly genuine.
I also saw the beginning stages of a wonderful healing process here. How you acknowledged the sweetness and beauty of your Inner Child even though, as you said;
"That though even then
I hated myself".
This experience has happened with me also, looking at photographs of myself as a child. I used to hate looking at myself in my childhood photos. For some reason, I was made to despise myself. Now, when I look at the pictures, I also see how vulnerable, pretty and sweet I was. I allow myself to connect to her and not be afraid any longer of that vulnerability.
I hope that this marks the beginning of a wonderful, healing and loving relationship between you and your precious Inner Child. It was also remarkable how you projected yourself into the future and how you may be looking back at yourself as you are now, and what you might think. Ingenious!
I wish you the best on your journey, and remember to be kind and loving to yourself and the child that will always be a part of who you are! You both deserve the best!
-
-
Thank you so much! Your comment was so heartfelt, and it made me feel great.
I also love your idea for a contest. I had never thought of going back and conversing with my inner child, and it's really helped me.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
