Beaten down into submission
listen as they call to me.
Melancholic ghostly chants
painted red hallucinations.
Growling poisoned burials dwell
within these tainted thoughts.
Candles burning tattered souls
that stand around the ghastly flame.
Symphonies of misery--blades of shining lust,
graceful crimson agony--devours flesh from bone.
Writhing in these memories and crying out for help,
twisting, screaming--someone please, hold my dying hand.
Demons lurk behind this smile, prisoner of twisted pain.
Darkness seeps between the cracks, horror guides my brain.
Words are harsh my father spoke, abuse that bleeds me dry.
I feel my heart disintagrate and shatter the abyss.
Requiems and funeral pyre's set out for my ravaged corpse,
draining all my memories and burning all these ashes.
Abusive, screwed up women--was all he ever chose.
Threatening to kidnap us and throw our mom in jail.
Blades are lacerating flesh--i'm bound here where i lay,
slave to bondage--can't escape--i scream and try to hide.
I'm worthless in his somber eyes, a slow and stupid child.
All i ever wanted--was him to show he cared.
Drinking all his pain away while we were by his side.
We sat and cried, afraid of him, afraid they'd hurt our mom.
I slice my arms, another memory bleeds away with shame,
counting down the cuts it takes to end this stupid life.
Nightmares hold me down inside this suffocating madness,
re-living scenes of agony, watching as they beat my mom.
Voices scream for me to kill, slit their throats for punishment.
Haunted in my darknest dreams, fear is overwhelming.
Tears of crimson crystal ice--pave my way to tribulation
freezing veins of burning hate--whisper to me softly.
Alone and trapped within damnation, hollow resurrection,
rising from a gloomy grave of desperate isoloation
Someone please unbury me, open up this casket,
pull my carcass out of here and carry me to safety.
Punish me for all the pain, the pain i've caused my family.
Slit my throat and butcher me, gut me till the rage is gone.
Author notes
"everything I had is gone"
FLUMMOX
show me the pain,ill give you the money OPTION 1
OPTION NUMBER 1
This is VERY VERY PERSONAL TO ME. It hits on both my inner anguish and memories that are very recent and not so. I'm still in a lot of pain and going throught he healing process. I was abused by a couple of men in my life somewhat sexually and very much emotionally (NO, MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER WAS NOT SEXUALLY ABUSIVE TOWARDS ME IN ANY WYA. HE NEVER EVER SEXUALLY TOUCHED ME, but he was very abusive in other ways and i'm trying to cope and deal.)
A contest entry
- When Darkness Takes Over by Starz of Heaven.
525 points, ended June 9, 2007, 22 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The beauty of pain. by Jai Guru Deva.
700 points, ended August 6, 2007, 81 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - show me the pain,ill give you the money by On Frail Wings..
550 points, ended June 18, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "I'm sad" POETRY :( by thelovesongwriter.
345 points, ended June 20, 2007, 96 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness, Let Me See Your Darkness by AshesFromFire.
700 points, ended July 21, 2007, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness Resurrection by Ninth-Poet.
573 points, ended June 24, 2007, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fear Itself by glued-to.
450 points, ended July 2, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abusive and Domestic Violence by Immortalbeauty.
1050 points, ended October 2, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotional Abuse Hurts. I wish you knew... by punksense.
302 points, ended January 7, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Touch my heart by MysticalRayne.
450 points, ended January 7, 2008, 35 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Your a poet that SHINES TALENT!
I enjoy your poetry you rock! -
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awwww,
thanks so much hun. This one was not easy to write.....
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This is fabulous - the imagery - the pain -WOW. I loved this. Best of luck in the contest
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Wow! This was amazing--especially the third stanza. You make me bleed.
Good luck
Jen >_< -
Wow. Now, THIS is what I call a REAL dark poem- not some emo cliche second-hand bullshit. This stuff is creative and intelligent.
Moving on... I loved the imagery in this. The flow was also amazing, and I thought choosing to not rhyme added a lot to this.
I'm sorry that you went through all that; I've been through it too, and I know I'm a stranger, but sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers, you know? So if you ever need to talk, I'll be here.
Anyhoo, the only things I found wrong about this, was...
Line 32- I think you meant "darkest", not "darknest"
Line 36- "isoloation" should be "isolation"
This is just a personal preference, but I think capitalizing the I's is a good thing.
Amazing poem, good luck in the contest
Jeanette*~
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this is an amazingly beautiful write. The pain is so obviously raw, that its almost as if the reader can feel it(for me, anyway). i love it
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Thanks so much for your comment. This is my form of therapy, haha, a lot of my writes are pretty disturbing and fucked up though! lol. I'm surprised i haven't been locked up yet!
Thanks again
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Deep Dark and Very Very Raw
The pain within this piece is deep indeed. It is an anguished piece of writing in which you have poured everything, all your emotions within it. The flow is outstanding and dark and the agony portrayed and felt here was very very palpable.
This was very creative indeed and full of deep dark emotion and anguish. Well done for writing something that was so very personal to you. You managed to get your feelings across so well with this.
Your friend
always.
Wayne
xx
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THANKS
So much for your kind words on this piece. It was actually a very hard one for me to write cause of how emotional it made me. I started over 4 different times and finally came out with this. I couldn't finish it before. I guess writing it was my form of therapy and trying to deal with it instead of giving in to the ultimate insanity by denying it ever happened (or that it still affects me).
Anyway, that is a HUGE COMPLIMENT coming from such an AMAZINGLY BRILLIANT WRITER SUCH AS YOURSELF!!!!
I'M VERY AMAZING BY YOUR STYLE AND BY YOUR WRITING!
I HOPE YOU NEVER STOP!
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well thats not a very fun situation, to put it lightly :/ your poem is very powerful, very powerful it nearly leaps of the page its crying so badly for attention. despite all this the critique in me feels a need - i feel that some of the words you use are a little overused, and not unique, especially since this is so wonderfully deep of a poem, i find myself wishing the words were more special in some stanzas. The intensity of someone please..my dying hand, ooh i love it. this is horrible to have to happen to anyone, and you wrote about your experiences very honestly exactly what i wanted, so good luck.
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Creatively refreshing!
this is aristic creativity that is taken to the next level. I liked the imagery and pure dark emotions that rained down on me. I had chills that simply kept multipling as I crept closer towards the end.
-Keep the ink flowing!
-Good luck in the contest!
-Sage of the east -
WOW! very nicly written! You have great skill when it comes to something! Bravo to you. Good luck in my contest!
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WOW. GREAT IMAGERY! i would'nt say this is a sad poem, but it sends a very strong message. i love the imagery. kudos on accomplishing that.! great job and good luck!
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that's horrible! not the writing it's excellent,but the message behind it,you've be through something nothing should encounter,you are not worthless,and if you need to talk i'm here,and again excellent writing you have true tallent
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Heya hun, this was such a sad write..abuse is such a horrible thing that no one should ever have to go through..I can really relate to this poem and the search of love and affection that you wrote about..this poem was absolutely magnificent and I thank you for adding this to the reading list You are a very talented author, keep writting take care hun
xoxox
~Chrissy~ -
i really liked this. very nice imagery. it had a good flow with it, too. good job and good luck
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Excellent work
Excellent work, my friend. I can't imagine what it's like to experience childhood with a father like that even with the poignant picture you've painted here. I know you are a survivor, use your writing not only as an expression of yourself, but also, to heal. Thank you very much for sharing your work here. I'm sure it was very difficult to write.
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This is a very nice write. My favorite lines are:
Tears of crimson crystal ice--pave my way to tribulation
freezing veins of burning hate--whisper to me softly.
Alone and trapped within damnation, hollow resurrection,
rising from a gloomy grave of desperate isoloation
Im sorry for all your pain and suffering
Thank you for shairng your amazing poem with me and adding it to the contest. Best of luck to you
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Simply amazing. I'm so sorry you had to experience such abuse. The last stanza was probably the one that got to me the most.
"Someone please unbury me, open up this casket,
pull my carcass out of here and carry me to safety.
Punish me for all the pain, the pain i've caused my family.
Slit my throat and butcher me, gut me till the rage is gone."
This one hits me where its personal. I'm glad you can express you feelings in such a creative way, it took me a while to be able to do that. My problem wasn't with my father though, it was my boyfriend. My sincerest thoughts are with you in your recovery.
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