I walked into a room
A dark, shabby room
A child was laying there
On the ground, scared
I kneel beside his fear
And sense all his thoughts
I place a comforting hand on his hair
And caress his teary cheeks
'I'm scared' he says
His voice shaking a bit
'Don't worry, little child
I'm here, no harm will be done'
I try to speak bravely
The child looks up at me
A smile form on his face
'You are brave and strong' he says
I grin with happiness
'I know, and all is thanks to you'
I caress his hair and he
Lies on my legs
His eyes closed, his mouth grinning
Silence and peace fall
People shouting somewhere far
We both are not afraid
Both asleep in this bed
Holding each other's hands
'Little child, you're safe now
I am by your side'
Author notes
My inner child when I was 6 years old.
A contest entry
- Connecting With Your Inner Child (Creative Writing Workshop) by kareneisenlord.
710 points, ended June 30, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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All of the entries in this contest/workshop were absolutely amazing. It was a little agonizing to judge because I was moved by each and every one of them and through them, many of my own feelings and issues surfaced and found new resolution and hope. I sincerely wished that there were more than three main trophies to give out here, because they were more that were deserving. I was very inspired by each of your stories and the courage that you all show coupled with your fantastic ability to transform your hurt and suffering into hope and healing. Since you were all so good, I decided to focus on the following points for judging the winners of the trophies, much of which was emphasized originally in the contest criteria ; Following directions: (i.e. making a genuine connection, dialogue or interaction, and resolution). How it was resolved: Was I left with a sense of hope and healing? Emotional Catharsis- Did the writing bring out the readers' own feelings and reactions. (I read other readers responses, besides my own, as well). Poetic Ablility and Grammar- Important here but not the most important; was the writing grammatically correct and clear in expression, keeping it simple yet creative? It was not easy to choose, and you all received points and Honorable Mention for your new write, which was well-deserved! Thank you all for participating in this workshop contest and I know it was not an easy one. I am grateful for those of you who felt ready to take up the challenge as well as for those of you who had the wisdom to know if it wasn't right for you now.
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A WINNER IN MY OPINION
this is beautiful. an amazingly emotional written piece of work.
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This was absolutely wonderful! It made me sob. This is EXACTLY what this contest is all about. I love how you befriended yourself as a child and comforted him and were there for him. The part;
"'You are brave and strong' he says
I grin with happiness
'I know, and all is thanks to you'"
was superb! You are both acknowledging the other in a loving, powerfully supportive way!
The ending was beautiful, how you championed your Inner Child, and you both were there for each other in a place of silence and peace, despite the "People shouting somewhere far".
This was excellent. You did a WONDERFUL job and it was very brave of you. I can definitely tell that you genuinely connected with yourself as a child and began a wonderful, healing relationship. I am still crying, your poem was inspirational. Keep up the good work. I am so happy that this went so well for you!
What a healing image to go to sleep with at night;
"Silence and peace fall
People shouting somewhere far
We both are not afraid
Both asleep in this bed
Holding each other's hands
'Little child, you're safe now
I am by your side'"
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Wow!! I am truely falterned by your comment. You almost brought tears to my eyes with your words. lol
Thank you for these words and encouragement. It wasn't an easy experiment but I tried my best. Thanks for this contest it very much helpped me get some things right and see things I could never see just by thinking of them.
I wish I was up to your contest's expectations.
Thanks again.
~AS
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SO PEACEFUL AND BEAUTIFUL!!
Your words have made me feel this wonderful sense of calm and peace this morning. Thank you so much for bringing this wonderful feeling to me with this lovely poem.
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