This town they said,
Reaks of exaust and coughing children
Of the narrow-minded, but oh so malleable,
So ductile to their trench coat environment.
This trench coat wasteland
Where the ink outlines their faces,
Like the chalk outlines the city.
And the Conquorers created these images of beauty
On the boulevards where the buried tread in graves.
The Spirit Shops wait-restless,
With all these Regulars and gin,
A liquid tranquility, an escape
From the desolate glow of the street lamps,
Consistently there, always acidulous,
Mocking the portraits put beneath them
At three o'clock Am.
For in the night, the label's peeling
And the Night Hawks see through frozen glass.
But all in harmony they dance,
Though faded on the pavement
In watercolours the waters have washed away,
Down drains of broken bottles,
Useless syringes, trading cards.
Exchange life for a generation of obsession, addiction,
An existence taken advantage of,
Smoothed onto a hand-made paint brush
This paracidic race of Regulars.
A dull pursuit of all.
Author notes
Hope you like it !
A contest entry
- you are cumbersome. by j-ay rose.
410 points, ended July 1, 2007, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - World So Cold by Festering Eye Sore.
300 points, ended August 12, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LET ME HAVE YOUR BEST!!! by Ale E.
600 points, ended August 15, 2007, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Anything Goes!...Well almost...kinda....sorta....uh...." by islekine.
600 points, ended August 12, 2007, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Symbolism by Kikai Ni.
300 points, ended October 10, 2007, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your BEST Prewrite! - For Mike [degarmo] - by Never Fall in Love.
950 points, ended October 29, 2007, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's A Contest... For Poetry. Whoah by Exodus.
600 points, ended November 5, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your most popular by Beating.
425 points, ended October 26, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blank Cheque by sca.
777 points, ended November 1, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just Give Me Something To Read by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended January 18, 2008, 89 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Welcome Back by Amorous Arms.
750 points, ended December 15, 2008, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Look At How Much I've Grown by xxRainbowDawnxx.
850 points, ended January 4, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Songs/Lyrics Options by albinoblacksheep720.
700 points, ended January 24, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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There is some great imagry, and lovely metaphors. It flowed really well, leaving you feeling desolate and sad. Really a beautiful piece all round
-
"But all in harmony they dance,
Though faded on the pavement"
Those lines really stood out to me, because they have such grace, compared to all the other lines. They stood out.
A very nice piece, filled with thoughts. It's very interesting. Good job! -
This is a rather interesting take on a fairly overdone topic. You get kudos for that!
Not many people can take a topic that has been done so many times and turn it into something unique. I really enjoyed your word use as it makes the poems much deeper ..
Good Luck in the contest and thank you for entering
Never ♥ -
I really like the idea of a trenchcoat wasteland. This is very descriptive and thought-provoking.


-
Though faded on the pavement
In watercolours the waters have washed away,
Down drains of broken bottles,
Useless syringes, trading cards.
this is great and well worth all the other words -
I like it....
Says a lot.
in top 10 so far...
just FYI
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INteresting. I liked your choice of words. NIcely written. Thank you for entering and i wish you the best of luck in my contest.
1 - 7 of 7







