i feel like im falling,
and i cant stop...
waiting for the bottom,
a bottom thats not there,
not there to stop the falling,
the dropping,
my chest tightens,
my heart aches,
i wish for the bottom,
but if i hit bottom there will be nothing left...
just pieces of me strewn about the floor...
is it a good or bad feeling?
somewhere in between,
in ways its horrible,
in others its blissful...
im not sure what it is,
for im not sure if im really feeling it,
or if its an illusion made by a mind lost in translucencs
Author notes
i had my hand in the cookie jar... if i remember correctly... EnemyOfAll
A contest entry
- Time to Turn Things Around by LadyOfFate.
600 points, ended September 6, 2007, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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very interesting. you make it sound like the fall is worse then the splat at the end. where the old saying is: "it isn't the fall that kills ya, it is the landing at the end." to me this poem seems to have a tearful person falling in a pit. nicely done. thanks for entering. good luck
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CLAPPY THINGIES
Sorry forgot the little CLAPPY thingies!
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Chwa
YAY! I lov-ed this poem. I felt like this when i had the stomach flu and a headcold and a regular flu. BUT anyways, 4 star buddy! -
a vivid description of a short event. make it stronger with metaphorical language. a great start to a poetry hobby though, keep working on it.
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Psst.. i acctuly like this;;
esp for the first one u entered into the site;;
dw about pacific
there not to bad at all
xoxo
-alice
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Great well written piece! You managed to express your emotions in a vivid way. Thanks for sharing this heartfelt write!
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wow. this really shows how you feel. i love how you explain in such detail. amazing write. keep up the great work
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