being a woman means
hating your own body,
his sins
(gluttony, lust)
are your shame
being a woman means
enduring those long hard
hungry stares
that reveal
his dirty desires
being a woman means
his sick cravings
matter more
than what you want
(or don’t want)
being a woman means
you better watch your drink,
don’t let down your guard,
you’ll only have yourself to blame
if he eats you alive
being a woman means
fear when walking alone in the dark,
never feeling safe, even in your home
because given the chance
he'll butcher you to get his fill
being a woman means
you are nothing but meat
for ravenous hands,
not someone to love
just something to fuck
A contest entry
- Pimp up my honorable mention or trophyless by leander.
400 points, ended December 4, 2007, 86 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This is a great piece. Very flirty, I enjoyed reading it. Love the repeations.Hope it wasn't hard for you to write. But once again I enjoyed reading it. Great job! Keep up the great job, hope to read more in the future.
Loveandblessings2u
Joyce
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Flirty? Are you on crack?
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I had the feel that the repetition of 'being a woman' though only used to emphasize (sp?) the whole message in this poem, sometimes it felt a bit reduntant. But then again, that's only me personal opinion.
There's indeed a lot of danger lurking behind every corner for especially the female part of humanity.
Thank you for entering this poem, I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
i disagree with nicole, i like the repeats it gives the sense of the whole crap-ness of being a woman gonig on like a wheel, circle, whatver.
i know how you feel hun. thank you for wrting this, hope it wasn't too hard for you,(i know you said it was personal). take care, stay strong xxx
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You know, do you mind if I make a few suggestions? Because, being a woman, I so understand this piece. lol. But I think the impact of it would be tenfold if you edited out some of the unnecessary follow-ups to your more meaty and substantial lines and images. For instance, "watch your drink" was incredible, and it's appearance SUGGESTED why you need to watch your drink, so explaining it further felt redundant. I mean, you could probably turn this into a ten line poem, and every line would be extraordinary. Let me give you an example (though I'm only playing here):
Since "Being a woman" is your title, you could use that to lead right into the poem, and there really is no need to repeat it at all in the piece.
"Being A Woman"
Hating your body, his sins
your shame
his cravings
matter
watch your drink, woman
don't walk alone, woman
nothing
but raven's meat
or something like that. lol. I know that's a poor rendition of your poem, but it was just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about with brevity and shortening the piece to add impact. Anyway, loved the subject here. -
Agreed very much so at least from these eyes, though I don't think myself helpless I can relate to your words. Not 20 minutes ago I nearly brought myself to tears because how angry my lover made me and it mad me want to run away but its getting dark and what would happen if I were to sit at the bar, a young piece of meat. Nothing better then what could happen at home, I know I'm safe here but I still feel trapped thank you for your words
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Good release of negative energy, especially if this is based on personal experience.
The last stanza is really strong. But it is weakened by the generalization presented-- at least to me, because it is only true in some circumstances, and not universally, or absolutely.
It's like writing a poem from a man's point of view about how ALL WOMEN see men like this poem does-- it's just not true for everyone. So you limit your audience with this writing. But it is a strong expression all the same.
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This is personal, but it's also about society as a whole. Institutions- the media, the government, the church all send the message that women are not worth as much as men. You are right, not every man conforms to this bullshit, but every woman damn well better be aware and protect herself, because many of the people who ought to help don't. This isn't about every man. There are some great guys out there. But this is about every woman. I don't know one who hasn't had to put up with this crap some point.
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Ya. I hear you. I agree; and it is unfortunate.
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Being a women, means a lot of things...
These definetely being some of them.
Its negative, but I know where you're coming from.
Sometimes being a women means being owned.
Being claimed, and helpless.
Great, great job.
Look what society had done.
. Rewarded 4
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but being a woman can also mean understanding and knowing the softness of another woman... someone who isn't driven by sexuality
. Rewarded 4
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You are such a flirt.
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