The world does a slow dance around me
The screaming reverbrates through my ears
Images flicker rapidly
as usual I can't tell
if they're real
or inside my head
Dad wants me to snap out of it,
act like a normal teen
mom says to cut the crap
and pull myself up by my boot straps
My legs begin running toward the door
away from the mosnters that have crawled inside me
My brain catches up moments later
I stand on the deck and I'm swaying back and forth
I can feel the gaze of my parents on me
Their mouths are moving
but their words are lost in the dead air around them
I think I'm gonna be sick
Next thing I know the floors rushing at me
I'm surfing through a sea of black
The world's bottomed out
and I'm falling past hell
My eyes blur open and there's no one there
just the splintery pieces of wood
from the deck
that are now lodged in the sweaty skin on my hands
I'm too drained to even lift up my head
Mom and dad are now no where to be seen
part of me wants to call out for help
but what's the point
they just think I'm playing the drama queen
I told them I think I'm going crazy
and they laughed in my face
and now I'm lying on the floor of the patio
wishing I could disapear
I pray to a god
that I don't even believe in
as a vacuum of voices runs in in the back of my head
and I wait for them to swallow me whole
A contest entry
- The beauty of pain. by Jai Guru Deva.
700 points, ended August 6, 2007, 81 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Condemned Minds by Acidanthra.
600 points, ended October 29, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Thank you for adding that contest note. I didn't see it in the author's notes and was about to disqualify the piece.
Back to your write. I found it to be a very emotional piece.
"Images flicker rapidly
as usual I can't tell
if they're real
or inside my head"
This stood out to me the most. This is a huge factor in mental illness and disease. It cannot live without it.
You did an outstanding job with imagery, word usage, and emotional description. -
Contest note, this is based on experiences with psychotic depression.
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Parts of this poem are based on truth. I do hear voices (due to a psychotic disorder)and I often am scared of being swallowed up into their world, but my parents understand that part of me, and are very supportive. They make sure to give me my antipsychotic and mood stabilizer medications every day and check in with me about how I'm doing often. I'm lucky that my parents are so understanding because I know there are many people that aren't that lucky, which is the basis of my poem.
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"I pray to a god
that I don't even believe in
as a vacuum of voices runs in in the back of my head
and I wait for them to swallow me whole"
orgasm in a freaking poem.
I really liked this. good job. it spoke to me. lol.
true story? good luck.
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Nice write!
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This was option number six
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