Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

In All My Dead Living

 

In all my dead living

I have not known the liberty
of midnight, the dull winds creep
across these lands with swift movement,
consuming evaded souls that harass the
sleeping minds and the empty hearts.

In all my dead living

I have not known the cure of morning,
reaching across from me, a woman, to
hold my hand and open her womb to me.
The brilliance of waking and knowing
her name, she arises and calls to me.

In all my dead living

I have not known the soterial of pain,

only memorizing my scars of irony.

Playing God to my own sins, learning

the faults of love through windows of

self defiance. Harming my self again and again.

 

In all my dead living

 

I have not known the minacious whisper of light,

Calling to my soul in dark corners, irreptitious

light calling, fleeting, fleeting, gone.
 
In all my dead living

 

I have not known..........

 

 

life

Author notes

This is a poem written solely inspired by, Rumi {1207-1273. A poet from Afghanistan.
This poem is about a man who goes through life not knowing love or the pains of being in love.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 77 of 77

  • Antebellum
    July 5
    Edit | Reply
    'In all my dead living'

    I really like the repetion of this.
    Being this is my second time reading this, I realize you have already won two golds.
    To make this fair, you will not win. It wasnt in the rules, I know...but I have some wonderful poets who have entered trophy-less work, and they deserve it.




  • Antebellum
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks so much for entering
    &&
    Good luck
    [if you are placed in the finalists I will leave a better comment]


  • Kendal Palmer gold member
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    mission accomplished...
    This poem is about a man who goes through life not knowing love or the pains of being in love...

    All of the stanzas seemed to take on a particular energy in and of themselves. Very impressive. Good luck with the contest. Peace, Kp


  • rollingzen
    June 15
    Edit | Reply
    well done


  • Poisonous-Kisses
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... I don't even think there are any words to describe how i felt about this poem. It is an amazing write and i am now going to go to your page and read all of your other poems. Because if they are this good...then the whole world should know... I really liked the part where it said
    "Playing God to my own sins, learning

    the faults of love through windows of

    self defiance. Harming my self again and again."

    I can really relate to this section...and its so sad...because so many people can... I just want to say very good...


  • Beautiful-Mourning
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    Nice way of ending this piece. it flows very beautifully together. My fav part would have to be the first stanza. well done


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    June 15
    Edit | Reply
    i think repeating the line works well with this piece i enjoyed the read take care


  • MoonlitRoses
    June 15
    Edit | Reply
    Very wonderful poem. Written beautifully, and great title.


  • Bianca Melody
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is just amazingly beautiful.
    so well written.
    congratulations, this is a piece to be proud of.
    oh,and well done on the two golds.
    well deserved.
    love,
    Bianca Melody
    xx


  • No Quarter
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful through and through. the imagery and language...the title could also not have been chosen better. I especially like lines 16-20.


  • Rheea gold member
    March 26
    Edit | Reply
    so sad it makes one weep and wonder why..


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    March 26
    Edit | Reply
    Such deep and poetic thoughts. Very pleased to see a gold shiny adorn this poem. I have a feeling many can relate to their own dead living. We are all so corralled, caged, and molded to conformity.

    I enjoyed this very much. Leaves a lot of room for thought, and the chance glance outside the window just to look for what I might be missing in 'life'. Well done. ~Pamela


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    March 26

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, really well written piece, and a double gold winner too, and I can see why.

    Congrats bro,
    Peace, mj.

  • ashjoe76
    March 25
    Edit | Reply
    This one really touches the heart!


  • LadyDementia gold member
    February 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Congrats on the gold!

    Very well eared. A fantastic piece, superb word play creating wonderful imagery. Very well penned


  • grannyeri gold member
    January 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow - powerful ending to this poem, great repetition, commented in this before you entered it in this reading list.


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    January 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is such a dark and yet powerfully and beautifully sad write, it holds so much within your wors. well done and congrats on the gold


  • stavykm gold member
    December 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent Write

    Wow such a sad dark poem!! This poem is written excellently in my opinion on your expressions of feelings and emotions. The title In All My Dead Living is a perfect title. The first line In all my dead living and then the last line In all my dead living I have not known.....Life, Excellent write. Thank you for sharing with me. So sad and painful!!
    Blessings and have a fabulous New Year
    Kelle Marie
    stavykm


  • Ellis gold member
    December 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent Writing

    Sad, for sure.
    -----


  • Edited
    December 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    well what more can one say, well done


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    December 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent Excellent write Dear. Congratulations on the Gold trophy I wish you the best of luck on trying to get it published. Lets see what everyone else has to say about it.


  • dreamersalwayslive
    December 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I like this

    Yes, I agree with everyone! This is such a fabulous job! It is a wonderful poem, though it is dark, lol. This was a great read!


  • ShaggsGyrl
    December 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    good

    i like the ending! it right there an strait forward! good job!


  • veins.of.hatred
    December 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    meh my appause wont show well i give u two


  • veins.of.hatred
    December 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    kinda reminds me of "laid to Rest" by LoG.... prolly cuz ive been listening to it all week


  • veins.of.hatred
    December 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    story of my life mang.... i dont get the hand/womb thing th


  • veins.of.hatred
    December 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    bumme


  • angel-lover
    November 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this certainly deserves GOLD....this piece is powerful emotional and real to me ...for shore...dead living yer such a real feeling some days fantastic read..


  • Gods-Artgal
    October 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem. You are a great poet.


  • Lowell Poe
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A shakespearean write!

    There is a lone man on stage,
    darkness surrounds him,
    all but one light shines,
    on the poet,
    and this poem.

    A dark masterpiece!
    GREAT WORK,

    LOWELL POE


  • daisybee
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was fantastic! I loved it-the line In all my dead living- is just so strong and sad, you have written a truly sad and poignaint piece-that ending is a killer. Great stuff!! Well deserving of GOLD!! Yay.


  • Queens 718 All Day
    October 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Admirable

    nice piece I like it a lot.my favorite lines were:
    "consuming evaded souls that harass the
    sleeping minds and the empty hearts."
    the poem was beautiful but these lines I liked the most.
    keep it poppin.

    Bless'd Be
    Rai


  • BlackManGabbin
    October 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Great

    Hot drop. Got to live man got to live. Keep it crackin.


  • Lucian Valcor
    September 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this was a wonderful poem you definetly have some talent i loved it


  • theredcatjazzoflove gold member
    July 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this was a great piece it deserved this gold oscar i must say and it was very poetic congradulations ~ julia ~

  • grannyeri gold member
    July 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    What an impressive piece of writing, so tragic and sad that one lives without really living - cannot image but can happen. Very powerful poem, giving food for thought for sure. Golden winner for sure, now the next contest to go.


  • Zephyr Aryn
    July 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow- a very emotionally stirring piece. This piece sure is a gold winner- I'd be disappointed if it didn't. Congrats!


  • Dragons Lady
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is truly excellent writing. It's so lyrical and sad. A sense of overwhelming despair at not knowing love. I loved it. Well done. Good luck in the contest and congratulations on the gold.


  • Random Goldfish gold member
    July 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Just excellent


  • sweetestkiss1985
    July 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    To not know what love is or how it is would be to me so lonely and painful. Yet how would I know. If love never exhisted this world would be so dark and depressing. Great write as always.
    Beka


  • LolaUnscripted
    July 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, first of let me say that this piece was well written and it takes a kind of true talent to write it. Bravo and I honestly was impressed.


  • poetsruletheworld
    July 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    First of all thanks for HM in your contest lastnight, decided to check out your profile out of curiousity. Nearl every band you listen to is one of my favorites both the older ones and the newer ones, even Dio who I worshiped in high school. Anyway you are a magnificent writer, I love this poem.


  • Cidalishus
    July 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Amaze

    I Love Your Pick Of Word....And This Poem Is Strange But At The Same Time True


  • BrokenWings...Fly
    June 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow!!!! this poem is... awesome. the whole write flows perfectly. I like how u kept repeating "In all my dead living". The ending was the best ^^ it tied everything together. gr8 job.


  • Twinstar
    June 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great!!!

    What a wonderful poem... How many of us are "Dead Living" each and everyday? Many I would say. Great piece! A real eye opener. Great flow & tone and good word choice & alliteration. A real pleasure to reaD.
    Love & Light
    Debbera


  • ebaby
    June 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem, you did a great job at expressing yourself about a poet who Im sure not many have heard about, I really liked your author notes and wonder how does one go through life not knowing love or the pains of being in love?


  • ellipsist
    June 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    incredible... very

    inspired, inspiring... I love the way that you have chosen and arranged the words within this piece... great metaphor... intriguing and original, amazingly descriptive... certainly thought provoking and this piece inspires FEELING! wonderful!


  • Abel696
    June 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW, AMAZING

    it is funny when you find an image while reading, but it is amazing when you picture a reflection while reading, you really got my interest!!

  • sweetestkiss1985
    June 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    At first this poem in the beginning made me feel as if I'm trapped somewhere in darkness, all alone. Blackness all around, not a soul in sight. Almost like a scary movie. lol. But then it made me feel like you were trying to reach out to this special woman who you were unsure of her love for you. Like you would do anything to know that she knew of your existance. Then you made me feel as if you were suffering somehow, maybe in your soul or crying out in agony for one to see you. And for God maybe isn't good enough to know about your faults. As if you were the one who could say it is your time. Then maybe you feel as if you're alone in this world with noone to reach out to you and save you from your turmoil. I dunno, this is how I interprid it(bad spelling). But if it's not what it means, at least I tried.


  • Cannonsfire
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very impressive write and great flow and thoughts in this one, it is deeper as you re read it a second or even third time. Well done Love, C


  • Diminished Capacity gold member
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow...

    Definitely would like to see more.
    Loving it...
    I have not known the soterial of pain,
    only memorizing my scars of irony.



  • PassionsPromise gold member
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow~~~~ between you and Jeremy my eyes are like all cried out. This was deep. and you penned it well Bravo. amazing work here.
    Tory


  • FallenAngel09
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This peom is so good it is like my muse, inspiring me to write out of my writers block. The lines fit so majestically together that it was almost like a dance with words, intricate movements weaving in and around themselves. Great job and good luck in the contest, you do deserve to win.

    Tiphanie

    p.s. sorry about the continued references to dancing, I just got through watching So You Think You Can Dance and my mind is still wrapped around it. Again, great job.


  • Rosier
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    ??

    It makes me think Vampyre, Vampyre, Vampyre...

    It may not be intended that way but it really makes me think it.

    It was a great poem none the less.

    Thank you so much for putting it here.

    Luff <33333333333333333333333333333333333


  • WolfAngel
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my how sad this poem really is. A wonderful job you have done with it. Thanks for sharing this wonderful poem!


  • borron555
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very vivid and meaningfull but i don't really like the structure and form. no real pattern or reason for putting hte words and theres too much structure to say its free verse. so idk.

    still pretty goo other wise though.


  • SoulJourney
    June 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very beautiful and effective poem, thanks for posting it for us! Charlynn

  • LeonXwabbist
    June 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    A very beautiful poem. Stunning end!


  • Roaddog Wolf
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW My friend

    You hit this one out of the park. making the dark part of loves hurtful side seem bright in comparison to never feeling love at all. seems like we have to take the good and bad in everything if we want to live life with any real conception of what it is and you have penned this concept very well. Although sometimes the pain of love or of anything can make you wonder if that part of living is worth it and might make it hard to at times to agree with this concept I would have to say I believe your right . Good write


  • The Fallen Phoenix
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning ending. Beautiful write. It makes me ache to live, as if I'm the person in the poem. Amazing.


  • Creatress silver member
    June 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    quite nice. I loved the title and the repetition of it.
    Fine work,
    Creatress

  • theredcatjazzoflove gold member
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    great piece love and thanks for suggesting i read this piece i was quite amazing to read and i am not easy to impress believe me i am not so i know your gifted i love the meaning of this write good pen. _hugs_


  • bethan-gaze
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very deep poem ... I was particularly taken with the third stanza ... it's full of sadness as though Wisdom only got through when it was too late ... life isn't a rehearsal ... we need to live in the moment and ENJOY! Beautiful ..x


  • aslanlight
    June 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Balldinger in here recently sent me a book of Rumi for my birthday! The thing I notice is the irony in this:

    'I have not known the minacious whisper of light,

    Calling to my soul in dark corners, irreptitious

    light calling, fleeting, fleeting, gone.'


    because no one could write about not knowing these things unless they actually knew them. Hummm


  • badfate
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    light calling, fleeting, fleeting, gone.

    Feelings constructed in brain;
    What do they mean really?
    What do we feel when we feel?
    Do we feel really anything?

    Prem


  • Wearychild
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great poem! Beautifully written, I love the last part the most. Thanks for sharing.


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great poem. I noticed two typos. Line one "the is repeated. Stanza 3 last line: "self defience" defence or defiance?


  • catz Moderators member
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a brilliantly expressed poem, David. To go through life without really feeling that you've lived it, is indeed a sad thing.

    This is one of the best poems I've read and I applaud you for your ability to make the reader FEEL the angst, the longing, the hope which is so eloquently woven throughout your words.

    An excellent write You said it's 'for the members'... thank you


    Dee


  • Swan song gold member
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    That was outstanding and very dark. I had to lookup a couple words in the dictionary but that was dam good.
    I like the repeat lines and the rhythmn it was a three reader which in my books means it was dam good,
    This poem greives because it longs but it has not given up hope,for of course a lover. You penned this very well.


  • Florida Sunshine
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    WOW this is a great format! and a even better Write! I thoroughly enjoyed this one! nice job!


  • bloody-black heart
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    great write i love the title very unique!*(i cant spell as u can tell lol) but yeah anyway great write and good luck in a.p!


  • nigelartist
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant!

    Great use of parodox.

    Beautifullly written!

    A great juxtaposition of sadness and feminine softness (don't mean to be stereotypical).

    Great last three lines...sounds like Shakespeare.

    This is the most moving poem I've read on here I'm sure!



  • Kimojuno
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow.

    I love it, I honestly do.

    I did notice something though:

    "the falts of love through windows of "

    Is that meant to faults?

    In any case, I'm sitting here stunned, I honestly don't know what to say. The title was perfect, and the poem was just wow, I'm sorry I know I personally like getting endepth reviews but tat just stunned me. You did a brillant job, wow.

    Keeep it up!
    Jeff.

  • grannyeri gold member
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Such a sad poem -even though one is alive they have not know life, and this comes through loud and clear - all the little details of what life is, yet not having expereinced that afor oneself is tragic - sentiments well expressed, easy to read and understand that longing for more, for something, for anything...

  • Aurora Ceres
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is truly a fantastic piece. So much longing, so much yearning. Alive in body only, dead in spirit, a life unfulfilled...how very sad, lonely and tragic. Your second stanza, I found it to be most touching...as a woman. Won't go into a lot of detail about it, but it is really heartfelt. All around an amazing piece! Very well done.


  • Viyanna Rosemarie 2
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!

    i am impressed with this one david. makes one think about all the things that keep one from living while yet breathing. thank you for sharing this with me. viyanna rosemarie


  • fallenangel671
    June 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    awesome poem i loved this, it was an amazing poem.
    keep writing


    ~Ashley~<3

1 - 77 of 77