Death, little by little
A wound from grave treason
Stung me, made me brittle
Now I lost a reason
Slow, it penetrates
The deepness of the crime
It reiterates
Your vileness sublime
You insane? yes, but no
A flood of bright red light
Describes the hate you sow
Creating internal fight
The crime is against me
For the lack of your care
Yet you refuse to see
What is obviously there
All my trust I gave
Thrown away for dirty vice
So throw me in my grave
Fuck your bullshit advice
A contest entry
- My first year on AP by forever dreaming.
450 points, ended June 17, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "I'm sad" POETRY :( by thelovesongwriter.
345 points, ended June 20, 2007, 96 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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great job here1 i loved it. good luck
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It's sorta scary, I'm not into dark stuff, and the title was misleading. You is such a cliche title for love poems, and this is definitely not one.
I think that the cussing at the end was not needed, I know this was suppose to be an angry type emo poem thing but it was not tasteful.
All in all I think that people who like this type of poem will like it, but me liking the more spiritual or love based poems, I don't like it.
I'm NOT bashing your poem, I just don't like the subject matter. -
great write..dark but that is one of my favorite poetry writings... i love it!!! keep writing!
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The Passionate Anger...
...is extremely palpable. It hits with wave after wave in rage. The flow is magnificent, with a word usage that makes the message come across very clear. It seems while this is so angry, it also seems well-thought out. Something very scary about that: animosity well-planned.
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Oh the anger is so easy to read in these lines - sentiments well expressed. Good flow and rhythm and rhyme throughout.
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great write i really enjoyed it!!! it makes my imagination flow!! great work of art! and good luck in the contest!
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