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Grandma the Hussy

Missing image

 Grandma the Hussy

O don’t you love my pretty face?
Lovely tan from the sun.
Majestic beauty, golden lace.
Older girls love the fun.
Like a fine wine, the better I get.
I’m older now and fun to pet.
Like a fine wine,
like a fine wine,
and pregnancy is not a threat.

So here I give myself to you,
go ahead feel my butt.
I will not slap you if you do,
Nasty girls love this smut.
Take me to bed, give me a feel.
No silicone here, it’s all real.
Take me to bed,
take me to bed.
Don’t you think I have sex appeal?

Just savor these lips, kiss me please.
You’re so cute, I can tell.
Unlike young girls, I don't tease.
I use powder, I don’t smell.
Love a grandma, take me to bed.
Use me abuse me, go ahead

Love a grandma,
love a grandma.
Of course I can love, I’m not dead.

 



 

Author notes

Trijan Refrain

The Trijan Refrain, created by Jan Turner, consists of three 9-line stanzas, for a total of 27 lines. Line 1 is the same in all three stanzas, although a variation of the form is not to repeat the same line at the beginning of each stanza. In other words, the beginning line of each stanza can be different. The first four syllables of line 5 in each stanza are repeated as the double-refrain for lines 7 and 8. The Trijan Refrain is a rhyming poem with a set meter and rhyme scheme as follows:
Rhyme scheme: a/b/a/b/c/c/d,d refrain of first 4 words of line five /c
Meter: 8/6/8/6/8/8/4, 4 refrain/8
Form Resource: shadowpoetry.com

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Comments

1 - 36 of 36

  • Blue30
    March 10

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    Good luck on the contest. I really enjoyes this. It was very funny and I loved your rhyning, nicely done.


  • BuriedTreasures silver member
    March 10
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    Excellent---Very Very Fuuny and a great picture too
    I wish you all the best in the contest!


  • penman gold member
    March 10
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    Excellent

    Oh my this is soo funny. best of luck in the contest


  • echo-ink
    March 9

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    Hey!
    I dismember this one, It should have won , but at the time I was wearing shit for brains, lol


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    March 9

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    Hahahahhaha oh my god I have never laughed out loud to a poem i've read but i am dying. that picture made this great. lol

  • Topnotchsy
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is disturbing but quite funny. A rare example of form and humorous poetry, it's an impressive job. Can see why it netted the gold trophy.


  • Flowergirl
    August 29, 2008

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    what a laugh i loved it...i am one that loves to laugh and that was great i loved it .....keep up the great humar of yours and i plan to read plenty more of your work...sorry i am all out of applauds but it needs one...


  • Rovingone gold member
    August 21, 2008

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    This is really funny. What a come on. I wonder if those little old ladies walking down the street are thinking such thoughts?


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    June 19, 2008

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    well it put a smile on my face and the lump trust me was in my throat oooo not nice but funny as
    Cyber

  • echo-ink
    June 18, 2008
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    I read it again, it's so funny, whenever somone comes to my house, i make them read this everyone roars with laughter




    YESSA!!!!




    I tried to give you more bunnies, but the jfuhgrug system wouldn't let me

  • echo-ink
    June 16, 2008
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    This is the new one to beat,

    where are my undies, where are my undies, , I acually thought about disqualifying this, untill I realized it was NOT a horror poem, after all hehehhhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa
    hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe....etc....


  • kvwriter silver member
    January 21, 2008

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    Adorable!

    Nice work here. And, the effort paid off! Congrats on gold. I love the pic of Grannie and your witty rhyme adds a bountiful supply of humor which I'm sure is enjoyed by all poets of all forms. Well done! Be blessed!--Kel


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    January 15, 2008

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    Congratulations, although Jeff has, on my behalf, already spoken for me, I feel I must add my own praise. The words and pictures were by far the best.
    Well deserved..Love Sue


  • Legend silver member
    January 15, 2008

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    Once again one can not disagree with the judging of this contest.An excellent poem added too may i say by a glorious image Congratulations on the well deserved Gold


  • cricketjeff gold member
    January 15, 2008

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    Thank-you and congratulations, excellent poem and a well deserved prize. We hope to see you in the later rounds, all prize-winners are scoring points in the race to be crowned "Best Rhyming Poet on AP and thus the world!"
    Thanks again for entering and supporting our rhyming extravaganza
    Jeff and Sue

  • cricketjeff gold member
    January 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Finally!
    Clearly the best poem in the contest, even more clearly the best picture and not far off the funniest poem. I don't like the formand Sue doesn't like being told what form a poem is but this is far too good for either of those to matter. Please keep the entries coming they are a real highlight of each round.

    A Grannie who's looking to play
    In a carnal and interesting way
    Has won you the prize
    Is that a surprise?
    Or were you certain you'd triumph today?


  • RatherImaginative silver member
    January 7, 2008

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    This one definitely made me smile. This is a very well-written piece! I've never seen this form before, but it looks intriguing. Unfortunately, I'm only asking for certain forms in my contest this time, so I'll have to remove it. Please feel more than welcome to enter another, though.


  • Simply.Nora.
    September 9, 2007

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    That pic scared the hell out of me. LOL. This poem is really funny but I dont think my mom should read it. By the way im 11. I enjoyed though. MOm wont ever find out about this . hehehe. _nora


  • exoticbeaches
    June 11, 2007

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    OMG roflmaopmp this is hysterical. I love the graphic pix as well. It really goes well with the imagery in the poetry you presented. Great job.


  • blueyez
    June 10, 2007

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    hilarious this one is so funny1 much props


  • JohnnyD gold member
    June 10, 2007

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    LOL!LOL!lol!lol!lol!lol!lol!lol!, Amera, that's hystrical, or is that hysterectical?, one to tickle
    and please most any funny bone!



    Dad


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    June 9, 2007
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    Oh my goodness, form or no form, this was funny....wonderful write, ty.


  • ellipsist
    June 8, 2007

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    LOL

    amusing take on the pic. I never would have gotten that myself without reading this... hilarious and rather brilliant!


  • Never Fall in Love
    June 8, 2007

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    haha
    lol
    my gosh

    So here I give myself to you,
    go ahead feel my butt.
    I won’t slap you if you do,

    I'll run away if i ever see this grandma
    Now then ..
    you always do forms so excellently
    that I have not much more words to say
    Again .. EXCELLENT

    lol
    keep it up
    NeveR ♥


  • angelica silver member
    June 8, 2007

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    HAHAHAHA Oh my goodness what a hilarious poem! And how gorgeous Grandma is. I'm a great Grandma but TG I don't look like that! FANTASTIC POEM!!


  • PerVirtuous
    June 8, 2007

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    This is fabulously funny! What a great side you are showing here! I love it. Who knew? You are the new princess of comedy! And the form is immaculate, as always.


  • Desire gold member
    June 8, 2007

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    OH MY GOSH!!!!

    Feel my butt
    Now that is a classic and I am loving this piece
    (the poem that is)
    Love her too~Love-Love but not in that way

    You had me rolling and I almost spilled my drink
    but thank gooooooooooooodness it was empty

    Did I say I Loved this alright
    and that Form too(poem form that is)

    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~
    Still laughing!!


  • Heavenly Angel gold member
    June 8, 2007

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    LMSWAO!!! This is tooo freakin' funny!!! The graphic and your words combine to make such a hilarious write!
    Wonderfully done!


  • Swan song gold member
    June 8, 2007

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    I have found the woman for me! Where does she live! What is her name? This was really cute and done in a formal manner which adds to the hilarity of it all.


  • Whoochi gold member
    June 8, 2007

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    LMAO..oh thanks I so needed this right now....cracks me up , what do they say "love is in the eye of the beholder." Would be a good line for a blind man in this instance...Hey! Wait! her pic, her lips, looks like mine...no fair hers are plumper....


  • DK akaLunaticSerene gold member
    June 8, 2007

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    lol!! This is too funny! Letcha in on a little secret, hubby fathered a daughter while in his teens, didn't get to have a lot to do with her growing up, but they are closer now...her two kids are more than 3 years older than my youngest two. So technically, I'm a step-grandma. I only answer to Nana though! But I can show you some grandma lovin' that'll blow yo' min sweet thang!!! LOL! Love the morphing pic...though her boyfriends might wanna leave the lights off! They can just pretend all the loose skin is the sheets!
    xxoo
    dk


  • Peteskid gold member
    June 8, 2007

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    This is very funny

    and so well written, within a strict form, there is a strong narration, full of expression, and the flow, meter, and rhyme are wonderful...PK


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    June 8, 2007

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    O' my girl what a laughthis is just the cutest poem you have ever written...Ive laughed so hard I've got tears in my eyes: Love a grandma,take me to bed.Of course I can love, I'm not deadthis is just to muchthank you so very much for the laugh


  • Hetha gold member
    June 8, 2007

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    ROFLMAOWTIME!!!! This is a gem! I love it! Grandmas need love too. I might have to try that lovely form sometime though. Awesome job, funny pic, and I certainly needed a good way to start my morning. Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest.


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    June 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahaha! That picture is a classic! This poem is a classic! Your humour and the take on this picture are fantastic!! Now I'll always have somewhere to come when dark clouds threaten to embrace me. You're a gem Sister dear, I love this and I love you too Lol!

1 - 36 of 36