numb with pain seeking sane always lame
cutting wrists deep slips knotting bliss
((inside)) my perfect world of reality
hitting home like four bases
a ball you can't exactly pitch.
tightening around, losing ground, upside down.
[[I love you]] is what i like to h.e.a.r.
running around in lala land
{like i think i like you}
ninth (in)ning, home stretch,
can you make it in??
(or f.a.i.l. the test)
thumbs down, turning away
slowly,
[oh, so slowly]
rotting away
(turn out the lights baby)
make me go insane
passing out, in the end,
love/life's complicated;; b.a.b.y
{you'll never win}
Author notes
"docta, docta--we have a broken heart!"
In a list
A contest entry
- Be My Dirty(Pretty) Little Secret by Epilogue.
700 points, ended October 22, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TELL ME YOU LOVE ME [i love it when you lie]] by WishMeAway--x.
900 points, ended October 26, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Pretty / Immense Imagery by LaurenLightning--x.
600 points, ended October 20, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - No longer pretty in your eyes.. by forbidden-colour.
300 points, ended October 21, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - strung out && b r o k e n more than an old cassette by PaintedParisPassion.
600 points, ended December 24, 2007, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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hm,
well i must say this was a pretty great poem, i loved reading it, i like the way you used your words very nice sweetie, good luck to you in the contests..xoxox -
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I really like your writing style. It kinda reminds me of old taking back sunday in some ways -
This was an interesting dirrty pretty poem. I loved how you set it out and how the words flowed together very well. It was amazing to read and I really enjoyed it. The only thing is that you will need to put the option you choose from my contest and write it in your Authours Notes, other the that it was a fantastic write. Thanks for entering.
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This is very interresting indeed. It is also sad. these lines really pop out at me: numb with pain seeking sane always lamecutting wrists deep slips knotting bliss
Nice write. Thank you for your entry best wishes xxxx
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I really like this. I like the way that it flows. The wording and descriptions are beautiful. This is wonderful but full of pain. Thanks for entering.
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hmm.. i like this alot, but i think the use over random punctuation has been over used. dirrty pretty isnt about the punctuation dolly.. its about the deep meaningfullness of your words;;
[is meaningfullness even a word?)
i dunno;;
but all in all i love this dolly
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