I spent my life in search of what I could;
not finding that which I could not define.
And not a single tear or sigh of mine,
seeped through the mask of 'doing what I should'.
A secret ache for all that's sweet and good,
A daily longing for which I would pine,
I walked a narrow, weary feeble line,
of what my heart desired and where I stood.
What solemn vows must be said to elope
a heart and life detached from warm embrace?
how do you tell your heart it can not give
its gifts of love, and ever lasting hope?
the universe can jar but can't erase
the sincere touch of love for which I live.
Author notes
I have learned to accept that our wishes, needs adn even our personality or natural psychology do not always line up with reality. As a result I am able to mature, and accept reality as it comes, and the struggle is lessens as I do that.
In a list
A contest entry
- BATTLE OF SONNETS ROUND 2 by mamad.
550 points, ended June 19, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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This is very beautiful and touching. I think you definitely could have added more but you did get the emotions across perfectly.
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good rhyme scheme congrats on the trophy this is a very good poem
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Excellent
Very well done. A wonderful and well written sonnet. Congrats on your silver trophy.
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Thank you
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Excellent; defiantly flowed vibrant and alive; love the way you played with simple words in this write. Nice job on this Good luck.
Ryan
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guess what It won me a silver in a very difficult, and also very fair contest I think you would be proud I am just happy Hopefully, I will just keep growing as a poet! Anyway, glad you liked this.
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Gratz, you defiantly deserved it
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My favorite poems from the classic witers like Frost, and Keats are the poems with simple but nostalgic filled phrasing- like Stopping By the Wodds, The Road Less Traveled. I am not that skilled, but this type of poetry as well as many other types of influences and personal choices besides poetry have taught me that simple is always deceptive- and best, and most beautiful, and for me most natural, though I wish I could be complex like Frost gets sometimes- writing poems I don't get unless I read them a million times
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Beautiful!
That is a beautiful piece, Duana. I just read through your homepage. I would say that you are definitely a "real poet." I've only been writing poetry for a few months, and I have so much more to learn. I love the word "unrequited." It was a really good choice for the title to this poem. I used that word in a spiritual poem that I submitted here called What Lies Beyond.
Thank you so much for your kind comment regarding my response to Malicai's poem, Stealing Innocence. Her poem reminded me so much of a painful memory from early childhood. I am so glad that she wrote such a powerful piece, although painful to write obviously, about something so devastating for children. As a survivor of child sex abuse, I was very touched by her work on that piece. I noticed that you posted a link about child slavery and child abuse. Good for you! As a parent myself, I think it's great that you are sharing such valuable information with others. I am going to add you to my favorites. I appreciate "real poets," too.
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I've just started the class here on AP on how to write a sonnet, so this is neat :-)
I don't like the last line though I do really like the first two lines -
Athough I enjoyed this poem very much, I think that the meter of the second stanza is a little off, especially thr first line. However this is still good so well done and good luck in the contest. Val
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Actually there is no way the meter could be off or I wouldn't have gotten an approval of okay from the judge of this contest- that's the way this contest works. And the teacher is an English teacher who is also an expert in the sonnet form. Thanks for your comment.
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i enjoyed it. good luck.
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This is beautiful. I love the conflict here, between the desire to do what one wants and the desire to fit in by conforming. It is a constant struggle. Very nicely written. Good luck in the contest.
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I have read and scored
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I like the octet very much, but the sestet is a little weaker in meter and direction. The conflict between conformity and desire is very strong at times - safety is a huge pressure. Good work Duana, and best of luck!
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