A sprinkle of day light,
Like a rising sun on top
of fog moisting rain dew.
A simple plan that I
created upon sitting in
the planet I so drew.
A wink of passer-by
eyes; like rainbow setting
morning drummed a-new.
A strumming sound,
Within the deep set
stirring bales a-flew.
A lantern light.
A fragrant sight.
A smell of beautiful
wonders that
I would do.
A contest entry
- An AP Family--You can NEVER have enough family by LunaAmara.
1050 points, ended August 8, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry only by Dahlia Tremaine.
425 points, ended April 1, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Wonderful
Sorry it was too long for contest, but great wording. Thank you for sharing
-
I've very sorry but the contest is for thirty WORDS or LESS so I will have to remove your poem from it. But it is lovely.
-
This is a beautifully described poem, and it was a nice thing to wake up to. I love the way you strung the words together, like beads on a chain. This is a lovely poem (and necklace, metaphorically^) I hope you had as much fun writing it as I had reading it. Wonderful job, great work.
Sincerely,
Lillian Madeline
-
"a fragrant sight" - what a juxtaposition of sight and smell. i love situations like this. very nice.
-
I like this write, it flowed really well. I found it a very up lifting read. I'm glad I read this.
Keep up the good writing. -
this is great! the imagery is magnificent!
great work
good luck in my contest
oh--just wondering--which part of my family would u like to be? -
Another stunning piece from you! Again, such beautiful descriptions. "A sprinkle of day light" Brings a lovely image. Every stanza makes the reader feel happy and leaves a long-lasting impact on the mind - the last stanza made me feel very uplifted.
'A lantern light.
A fragrant sight.'
I love this little rhyme, the way you've slipped it in. It doesn't have the same set-out as the other stanzas, and yet, it seems to go perfectly and doesn't lose the fluidity of the piece one bit!
Very, very well done
ELW
-
I liked this very much. I like the idea of sitting in the planet, which is what we do...nobody else has put it that way before, funny. "a fragrant sight," lines like that throughout the who thing, great. I like the way you describe a partly sunny day...it's a tribute to the small moments and things that can bring a feeling of elation. well done.
-
Awesome--i always love a well writen happy piece--good luck in the contests
-
well written. a good pick-me-up piece. brightened up my day =)
-
You've Done It
You have, in just a few words, countered so much of the doom and gloom that I have been reading lately. What a pleasant suprise to have found this. Thank You! Stay sunny, and continued success, RaiseIt
-
I loved this piece, it is so perfectly written and masterfully crafted! YAY!
-
Oooo that is well writen. I love your metaphores. The descriptions were well crafted and painted such great images within my mind.Great write.
-
I really like this. I love the descriptions. The flow of the piece is just beautiful. It's nice to read something that isn't depressing, thats about all I write. Great Job.
-
nice! i like it...it's v.light yet meaning full...
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
