A splash to curl the parched cracked lip
eyes raised to hallelujah skies,
And rivulets ran in furrowed brows:
A murmured prayer Sahara sighed
As buds birthed in once barren land.
A contest entry
- QUICKIE 5 lines by Lyre-Bird-.
480 points, ended June 17, 2007, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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a great well written poem.
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Beautiful, Di
Even in the desert, a little rain falls every once in a while. But I have a feeling this entire poem was a metaphor for a neglected person, I hope it's not you.
I hope it's not you...
Hugs and kisses, Brazos
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Excellent
Wonderful alliteration and subtle assonance, and very effective imagery. A treat to read. Best of luck in the contest.
D.D.M.
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Beautifully written with wonderful imagery and alliteration.The flow is natural and lovely...
Lynda
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OOO lovely words, nice mind picture sis!
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really nice imagery .. great work ..
,balli -
amazing. i love the fourth line. beautiful work.
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WOW!!! Good luck in the contest!!!
Cynni -
Wow!
I liked this one, short but well written.
Great job!!! -
BRAVO
This is a great write and I SALUTE you. LO-AMO!!!!!!!! -
Well written
Nice work, have you ever been to a desert. -
I've been in the Sahara when it rained--you took me there again with an economy of words--delightful, engaging words for one on my favorite places. The progression from one line, from one thought to another was strong.
“The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master--that's all."--Lewis Caroll
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A brilliant work. It is brief yet says exactly what I believe you meant it to say. And it says it so beautifully. Many smiles for you.
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Interesting cumulonimbus ?gif? file. I don't have a single criticism. Excellent entry.
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Very good imagery
I think the excellent use of alliteration and metaphor makes the desert come alive for me. Short but perfectly sculpted so good luck with this. -
Beautiful piece you have penned
here. I love the imagery of this.
Thanks a lot for sharing it and best
of luck to you with it in the contest!
Jeremy0826 -
Excellent!
What description in such few lines!
The coming of the monsoons in the Sahara 
not given away fully until the last line. Wonderfully written and well thought out word choices. I loved the alliteration used throughout the piece. it just makes the piece flow so well.
Good luck in the contest!
~Corvidae
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Loved the picture, Loved the poem, great job, well done
Best of luck to you in the contest. -
Lol. I like this one it is short sweet and to the point. Everyone interpets things differently though and I find alot of meaning in this. Kudos.
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this was a nice write, keep up the great work.
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lovely picturisation
a gr8 thpught n i loved it.words r thoughtfully chosen and woven to form a amzing five line piece.i love the style form very much.words r the strength of this poem
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so unique but yet leaves me lost for words on such a lovely place in the world the picture goes perfect with it
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excellent
Have been to the Sahara.Loved as usual your graphic and your poem...rivulets ran in furrowed brows.. Totally wonderful...Short and to the point..
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This one makes me think about the dry season we're haveing in Georgia. I really wish the rain would just pour down 'cause the heat is blasting. Good write.
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WOW!!! I probably shouldn't say anything nice to you (since you, like, oh, I don't knooooow . . . NEVER TALK TO ME AT ALL!!!) but frankly, Di, this is brilliant!!! I'm not sure what to say except that. You used the words precisely and said not only what you meant to say in terms of the common sense of things, but you also did so within a tight - yet perfect and forgiving - rhythm, and all of that contained inside . . . well, forgive me, but the only word that comes to my mind is music. This is one of the best ever from one of AP's best ever. Beautiful Di. Truly. - oce
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So much to read in these few lines. I can feel the heat and the blessed drops of refreshing rain, slowly at first, beginning to fall. Also a thankful prayer to the Almighty for re-awakening the arid desert. Beautiful Di. Bravo. Val
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Wow
Short but yet so powerful...I like it alot..it is inspiering. Keep up the good work!!
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Fantastic images come to light in the elational tribute to blessed rain on parched land and soul. Well versed piece.
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Liked the alliteration in this poem, the flow and the wonderful images shown, even without the clouds moving across the screen.
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beautiful vision and nice imagry. wonderful!!!!
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Wonderful
Terrific visuals in your poem. Really does work great. Good luck in the contest.
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