Deeper into the Darkness I walk
The more I feel the world take toll
The sun is blocked
And I fall into a never ending hole
My mind is rotating around me
Im deciding to wait till I hit ground
Or find a way to flee
This is where I feel unbound
A chance to finally make my own choice
The past years I been living by my peers
Now I listen to my own voice
Its as if everyone dissapears
Its only me now I have time to think
I have my own words to say
My mind and my heart link
My pain goes away
Im still falling Deeper and Deeper
I realize that my love came back
but the hills getting steeper
As it is gettting more black
I Dont want to die
My heart has been found
Too late now you know why???
GROUND!!!
A contest entry
- Deeper into the Darkness by Dark Soul Reaper.
300 points, ended June 20, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cold Regret by DesolatELifE.
689 points, ended December 15, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I love the way you seem to be falling for so long, but then all the thoguhts found in the fall were in vain. It shows great regret. Well done. Thanks for entering!
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Thanks for the entry, but it's not quite what we were looking for. If you would like further explanation, please send me a private message and a link to the poem and I will be glad to discuss it with you.
Elizabeth -
Welcome to Allpoetry
This is very well done. I like the subtle hint of rhyme it's great. The story in this is sad. You've gotten down and lost your love because you couldn't save yourself to come back. Great.
Faerie - Site Greeter
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Interesting. I liked it. The tone you set was very dark and it sucked me in. I don't know if i would have used "Wow" to start a line but you kinda pulled it off. Good luck.
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I think its good
Jeese Im gon on and edit to make it better and i beleive I am done now
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