What sorts of feelings do we tend to retain,
Of memories fleeting and most often vain?
Do we think of the fun and the good we beheld?
Or rather the viles of others, keeping good shelled?
Which is more interesting, the macabre or sane?
A cannibal tyrant or a common boatswain?
The human nature is one to corrupt.
Owning is climax, the final “up and up”.
We analyze and break down,
The glorious and even profound.
We analyze to understand, we understand to manipulate,
Building these things called societies we even learn to hate.
What sorts of things does life itself hold,
For those that are willing to be ever so bold?
A few don’t search, taking life for what it is.
Not searching for more of this science showbiz.
The real artists are few and far in-between
The ones through whose art beauty can really be seen.
We are the next generation, we are a dying breed.
To what kind of persons will our heritage succeed?
Life seems to not want to give us her bounty.
Always searching for love and happiness yet always alluding.
Perhaps we’re trying to hard…
Or maybe we weren’t ever meant to know…
Whichever it is we can’t quite bring ourselves to stop.
Call it human nature,
That which thrives with the cruel and “inhumane”,
But that which pleasures in the heart of a child.
Could one person be so enticed as to stop?
Would life matter if we quit revolving around the hands of a clock?
So goes it all,
And so go we…
Author notes
Valdar Cuebiyari:
This did not turn out being about what I planned on it being when I first started it. I'm not quite sure what I think of it as of right now, it kinda surprised me.
A contest entry
- Is there hope for humanity? -contest- by Creatress.
500 points, ended October 4, 2007, 22 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round 1: Hit me With your Best Pre-write. by edit my world..
425 points, ended October 20, 2007, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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This is one of those rare really interesting poems. There are many poems that allow you to question certain things and even try to change your opinion of certain subjects, but not many have the wisdom and curiosity of this one. This poem at first was hard to understand, but as I read on it bacame clearer and clearer but broungt up question after question, so by the end I was like, 'Wow this is amazing' and then 'ooohhhh now what am I gonna do,dammit I want answers!!!' Really puzzling and interesting write.
Keep it up! :-] (sorry i love smileys)
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Interesting.
I really liked the first part. Towards the end of the middle, you stopped rhyming, and it through off the flow and rhythm for me. It's a very unique poem, for sure, you don't see this mix of freedom and society very much from poets. Bravo, my friend.
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Wow....That's all I can really think of at this moment.
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We analyze to understand, we understand to manipulate,
Building these things called societies we even learn to hate.
Would life matter if we quit revolving around the hands of a clock?
and Amen is all i an say to that my friend...
and here's sth rom Shakespear who said:
"And so from hour to hour
we ripe and we ripe..
and from hour to hour,
we rot and we rot...
and therebye hangs a tale..."
i guess this could be the thing to be said....
but as we grow to hate the wold we evolve around.... we come to think and think and in that we become the poets...
keep on peening this way.. just let it all out and u won't be but surprised...
hehe
PEACE
********JOWELL*********
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Beautifully written.
It really makes you wonder and question
everything in life..
I really enjoyed reading this. 8) -
Hmmm...well I liked it...kinda makes me think...makes my brain hurt...overall I think it's a great write though!
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Beautiful.
I haven't read a poem
That's not dirtypretty
in such a long time, and
This is just so refreshing
&& I love this from beginning
to end.
One poem I deffinately enjoyed
reading fully and sadly,
I never bump into many of those.
So amazing.
[[ZombiNa]]
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Thank you! This is a wonderful compliment!
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Hm... nice.
Especially the dying breed line.
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This poem is spectacular! so very deep and thought provoking. It made me reread it and think about what it is saying. such a great piece of literature! awsome job.
-Kaitlyn-
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This poem was so amazing! I can't even begin to tell you. It made me think and I just felt your energy. The emotion and provocative nature of this poem makes you question this society we live and "thrive" in. It was a very well written and beautiful piece of poetry!
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Wow, wow, wow!!!
I can't begin to tell you how great and thought provoking this poem is. I can tell by how it is written that it had a mind of its own. You got it going, the Spirit took over. Much to read and think about in this poem! My favorite verse is: "The real artists are few and far inbetween,the ones through who's art beauty can really be seen." I believe "who's" should be spelled "whose", though. This verse is quite true and I think the reason is that we become different in thought and our hearts take over when we are being "creative". This poem is excellent! Bravo!
Carolyn
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Thank you
. I went back and fixed the spelling error. Thank you for pointing it out, I didn't even notice. I agree with you about that line. Perhaps that is what makes the artist different. The problem is people tend to lean too far one way or the other, it's a black and white line to most between heart or head. Thank you!
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This is amazing....
Incredible lines... capturing the reader.
I love these Lines.
Always searching for love and happiness yet always alluding.
Perhaps we’re trying to hard…
Or maybe we weren’t ever meant to know…
Whichever it is we can’t quite bring ourselves to stop.
Call it human nature,
That which thrives with the cruel and “inhumane”,
But that which pleasures in the heart of a child.
Could one person be so enticed as to stop?
Would life matter if we quit revolving around the hands of a clock?
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Thank you
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I really enjoyed reading this piece... although i do agree with Georges that at times the rhyming did seem a bit forced...Overall though an excellent piece
Keep Up The Good Work
Beck -
It was good overall with a strong message but some of the rhymes were a bit forced like sane and boatswain perhaps u could have used A cannibal tyrarant or an ordinary life here again. I am only trying to be helpful, it was a good poem with room for improvement.
Liked the flow and the message however, so I will applaud.
Best Wishes.
Georges.
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Thank you. I appreciate the constructive criticism, there's always room for improvement.
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this was really good! i loved the lines:
Which is more interesting, the macabre or sane?
A cannibal tyrant or a common boatswain?
that was a brilliant bit. The ending was really good as well, it closed everything up nicely but made me realize that i', like this as well. the only thing i had a problem with was, the first stanza, it was good but it seemed to belong to a poem with a topic of how we don't think of anyone but ourselves. but the rest of th work was perfectly flowed(?) out and the words you chose made this unique beyond belief. KEEP IT UP!
~*meet you in barcelona*~
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Thank you. The first stanza is simply an attempt to lead into pointing out the fact that of all the memories we have, even if they are good, we tend to remember the more gruesome side of it. Maybe "that girl" was being really stuckup, or I didn't get to go do that thing I was planning on doing, etc. Those sorts of small things even. I just needed a sort of building block for it. I figured I'd start it out with a question. Thank you again for your comment! I will try to think of a way I can perhaps revise the beginning.
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i like it
I really liked this poem it was great. I loved how it rhymed and it flowed wonderfully. It really makes you think and i like that. Its a powerful poem all the way through you have done an amazing job. Keep up the good work!
Take care
Countrychick06
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I like this a lot, it flows well, is in good form and makes you think. A really good write!
Kx
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i like it..... the rhyme has a good beat and the poem is like a free flow...... the ending is powerful as is the beginning and the whole poem just really had depth..... good poem...... good read.... and write...
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i really liked this poem and it rhythms =:
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Very Very Nice
This write flows beatifully. Cant have been more perfect.
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I really like this. I love the flow and the subject of this piece. It really makes you think and that's what a good poem should do. This is wonderful.
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I really liked this one. It started out kinda strange but it developed flow along the way. You had some great lines throughout the poem.
The human nature is one to corrupt.
Owning is climax, the final “up and up”.
Great line right there. Great job!
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