Rough and worn fingers
On fragile skin
Trying to scream
Holding it in
Desperation awakens
Pain turned real
The grip of a monster
Is all she can feel
He forgot how she fought,
How hard that she cried
And the way that her innocence
Crumbled and died
Oh, but she [remembers]
Experienced eyes
Sends chills through her bones
A pretty young dreamer
Who lost her way home
The apprehension in the air
Is so vivid and vile
She wished he would let her
See what’s under that smile
The kisses he places
On her soft cheeks
Leaves beautiful bruises
And a heartbeat so weak
She breathes in his anger
As he lunges with greed
She’s sworn she won’t ever give in
To the lust that he needs
He knows what he’s doing
He’s done this before
Senseless and cold
Cruel to the core
She cannot erase
His face from her mind
Embedded forever
In her scars so aligned
She was defenseless
And too sweet to run
Not once did she complain
About the damage you’ve done
Now tell me, please,
Did you have fun?
Yeah boy, she remembers,
Oh how she remembers.
Your rough and worn fingers
On her fragile skin
Her trying to scream
But holding it in
As desperation awakens
The pain turned real
The grip of your hands
Is all she could feel
You forgot how she fought,
Just how hard that she cried
And you forgot the way her innocence
Crumbled and died
Oh, but she [remembers]
Author notes
"Heaven's not a place that you go when you die, it's the moment in life when you actually feel alive" -- the Spill Canvas
A contest entry
- Make Me Feel It : 3 Option Contest! by BeautifulDisaster9.
875 points, ended September 21, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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extraordinarily strong. this poem, more than anything else, seems to convey what it is like to be abused. i read it and felt empty, and stunned, and made to understand.
the kisses of "soft bruises" and the "scars so aligned" are fabulous phrases. the imagery is so vivid, and combines with the rhythm very effectively.
but all praise and analysis of this poem's strengths is irrelevant. it is what it is, and what it is transcends *how* it is, and why it is, and how you created the effect.
the point is, it is a work that takes the reader into your mind; reading it, i feel as close as i could imagine feeling to how you felt... It is so rare for a poem to make you understand an experience you have never had (and never wish to have) as directly as this.
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ABSOLUTELY AHMAZINGGG.
This ohhh myyy gawddd is one of my favorite poems now. I am seriousl saving ths, I don't know why I love it so much, it just spoke to me. ALOT=]
"He knows what he’s doing
He’s done this before"
Lets see, over a million times? WOW. How the hell do you write like this ! It's inmazing,girl. INMAZING
"Not once did she complain
About the damage you’ve done
Now tell me, please,
Did you have fun?"
WOW. We seriously think so much alike. I swear to gawddd, Brialicious, I did not know you wrote that ! Holy shittt. And no. Not ONCE did we complain. Those are the best lines everrrrrrr.
"Oh, but she [remembers]"
My other favoritest lines in ze world.
Neverrr stop writing, Brialicious.
You DEFINITELY have talent<3
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LIKE WOW
omg that is some serious stuff... you really good... not many people can write with that much emotion.. and emotion is what makes a poem come to life. we could all learn a thing or two from you
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UNBELIEVABLE!
wow...this is UNBELIEVABLE! i'm serious!!!!!!
this is like the most powerful thing i've read!!!!
you're an amazing writer! this has such emotion and pain...seriously, it's amazing.
my favorite part...
'The kisses he places
On her soft cheeks
Leaves beautiful bruises
And a heartbeat so weak'
i love you and the way you write!
<3
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Bria, this was really vivid. Like someone hurt you, BAD. But it was really nice. I loved it as usual! *hugs*
Billy.
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